When the Sun hides

Eighteen

I stared blankly at the empty wall for almost 30 minutes before I pushed myself to get out of bed. I went to the bathroom first and cleaned up my face. I also brushed my teeth, then walked to the kitchen. I grabbed a glass of water and drank it.

Ang bigat pa rin ng pakiramdam ko. Wala pa rin ako gana kumain. I sat on the wooden chair and spaced out. I couldn't properly open eyes dahil namamaga na ito dulot ng pagiyak ko kahapon.

I heaved a deep breath and slumped my head on the table.

Hindi ko alam ang dapat gawin. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko ngayon.

Ang hirap mag-isa.

Suddenly, I heard the doorbell rang. Hindi ko sana papansinin noong una pero tatlong beses ito tumunog. Hinila ko muli ang sarili ko na tumayo at maglakad papunta sa pinto. Humugot muna ako ng malalim na buntong hininga bago binuksan ang pintuan.

A bright smile of a man greeted me.

"Good morning. " Vincent said as he showed me the things on his hands. "Ah. I bought almond milk and freshly baked bread, cookies, and cupcakes." He continued. Nakatingin lang ako sa kanya. "Umm. Nagaalala kasi ako sayo, kaya naisip ko na puntahan ka. Okay lang ba?" Dagdag niya pa. Pinilit ko na ngumiti sa kanya. He is really a thoughtful person.

"Thank you, Vincent. Pumasok ka muna." I invited him inside. Maayos pa rin naman ang bahay kahit na dalawang araw ata ako na hindi naglinis at natulog lang. "I haven't cleaned up yet, sorry kung may konting dust."

"Okay lang." Sagot niya lang habang nakangiti at nakatingin sa akin.

"Umm. Have you had breakfast na ba?" I asked while opening the fridge.

"Hindi pa, pero bumili rin ako ng breakfast, just in case hind ka pa kumakain." At inilagay niya nga sa lamesa ang isang paper bag, maliban pa ito sa milk, bread and cookies na dala niya. These were sandwiches and 2 cups of coffee and hot choco.

Wala sana akong gana kumain pero nakakahiya naman kung hindi ko siya sasabayan. He went all the way to my house just to check on me.

"I heard from your colleague na may sakit ka. Masama pa rin ba ang pakiramdam mo ngayon?" Tanong niya.

"I'm fine. Gusto ko lang talaga magpahinga." Sagot ko nalang. Hindi naman siya nagtanong pa tungkol sa isang gabi, noong nakita niya ako na umiiyak.

"Kung gusto mo at okay lang sayo, we can go outside. To breathe fresh air lang. Baka makatulong din na gumaan ang pakiramdam mo." Tumingin lang ako sa kanya. Honestly, i prefer being alone.

"Saan? " Matagal bago ako sumagot.

"Kung saan saan lang. Anywhere that can make you happy. " His smile broaden and I couldn't help but do the same.

"Sige. Hold on, magbibihis lang ako." At bumalik na ako sa kwarto para maligo at magbihis. I slipped into plain light brown trousers and black oversized shirt. I partnered it with white sneakers. I also got the black cap and brown sling bag. I don't feel like dressing up kaya ito nalang ang pinili ko na suotin. I didn't wear make up as well, naglagay lang ako ng sunblock cream and lotion.

After few minutes, binalikan ko na rin si Vincent sa livving room. He was staring at me.

"Let's go?" I said. Nakatitig pa rin siya sa akin. "Vincent?"

"Ah. Yes. Let's go."at tsaka siya tumayo na. "You look great. Cool!" May pa thumb's up pa siya. Napapailing nalang ako.

I rubbed my arms and drew a deep breath as soon as the wind touched my skin. I was still in a pensive mood. Si Ken pa rin ang nasa isip ko. Kahit na ayoko, inaalala ko pa rin ang kalagayan niya, kung kumakain ba siya ng maayos, kung nakakapag focus ba siya sa practice nila.