When the Sun hides

Five

Nagulat pa ako nang humiga na rin siya sa kama. Sa likuran ko siya pumwesto. Niyakap niya ako na mas ikinabigla ko.

Pinakiramdaman ko siya bago magsalita.

"Ken." I called. Matagal bago siya sumagot.

"Hmm?"

"Umm. Galit ka ba?" Kinabahan ako sa susunod niyang tugon.

"Hindi."

Ha? Ano daw?

"Talaga?"

"Gusto mo ba na magalit ako?"

"Ha? Syempre, hindi." Mas humigpit ang pagkakayakap niya sa akin.

"Kanina galit ako, pero hindi sayo. Nainis ako sa kasama mo." He paused and took a deep breath. "But I'm more afraid now." His next sentence caught my full attention. He pulled closer to him.

"I'm afraid that he might get you from me. I can't bear on losing you, Cat. I can't. " His voice was hoarse. Where does that coming from? Pinilit ko na humarap sa kanya. Madilim pero kita ko ang pangamba sa kanyang mga mata.

"Ken?" He took a deep breath. I know what he is thinking. "Ken, I love you." I assured and caressed his face. "Hinding hindi ako mawawala sayo. Hinding hindi kita iiwan."

As his answer, he put his lips on mine. He knows how to distract me from overthinking but he finds it hard to do it on himself.

"Mahal na mahal kita." I whispered. I want him to always remember that I am under his spell, that I love him and no one can alter my feelings for him.

He slowly put his body on top of me and removed his shirt. He also followed mine after. His lips made contact with my neck to my chest and back to my lips.

His hands wandered on my body and mine reached his perfectly conditioned hair. I softly moaned and crossed my legs around him.

He stopped for a while and stared at me. His eyes scanned my face. His fingers trailed my brows, nose, and lips. He also cleared off some of my unruly hair. He cupped my face and began kissing me.

***

We left the house in wee hours to avoid the traffic and the people. We're also using my car to drop him off at their office. Kasi naman, may schedule pala sila ngayon, umuwi pa sa akin kagabi. Pero nakapagpahinga rin naman siya, iyon ang sabi niya. Iba pa rin daw talaga kapag katabi niya ako matulog.

"Ken. We're here." I said waking him up. Palaging tulog. Halata na kulang talaga siya sa pahinga, kawawa naman.

Nagising rin naman siya agad.

"Ang bilis naman." Sagot niya pa. Hindi na ako nagsalita at kinuha nalang ang pagkain na inihanda ko at ang mga gamit na binili ko para sa kanya. Ngumiti naman siya sa akin.

"Sukat mo 'yung mga damit. Balik mo sa akin kung ayaw mo, papapalitan ko."

"I love you." Saad niya sabay halik nang mabilis.

"I love you too. Sige na. Pumasok ka na." He smiled at me and gave me another goodbye kiss before leaping out of the car.

Napangiti ako. Mabuti nalang talaga at heavily tinted ang bintana ng sasakyan ko.

Pero naalala ko ang mga sinabi niya kagabi. He's afraid? Natatakot siya na mawala ako sa kanya at sumama sa iba? Ni sa panaginip hindi mangyayari iyon. God knows how much I love him.

As I was driving, sudden thoughts cross on my mind. Hanggang kailan kaya kami ganito? Hanggang kailan kami magtatago? Hanggang kailan namin kayang panindigan ang relasyon na ito? Paano kung dumating na ang araw na pareho naming ayaw mangyari? What will I do? What shall we do? What choice shall I choose?