I drew a long deep breath as I entered the gate of my house. Silence and darkness filled the whole area. I suddenly felt tired.
I sighed again and searched for the keys. I turned on the lights and my pieces of furniture were the ones that welcomed me.
I went directly to my room and undressed myself from my work clothes. I grabbed some oversized T-shirts and underwear before going to the bathroom. I looked at my own reflection in the mirror. My skin has lost its moisture. Dark circles are as big as my eyes. My lips are dry. My hair is a mess. When was the last time I visited a salon?
Surely, I need to schedule an appointment as soon as possible but right now, I want to lay on my bed and take a rest.
Mahigit isang oras palang siguro ako nakakatulog nang naramdaman ko na may tumabi sa akin. He put his arm around me and pulled my body to his. His scent calmed me.
"Ken." I called and he just hummed. "Bakit ka umuwi?"
He pulled me closer to him before answering my question.
"I didn't see you kanina."
My brows furrowed by not comprehending immediately what he said. But then I remembered na kanina nga pala ang performance nila sa BGC. I felt guilty. Inaasahan niya pala ako na manuod.
"Busy ka ba sa work?" Sunod niyang tanong at hindi ko alam ang isasagot. Ayoko sabihin na masama ang pakiramdam ko dahil ayoko rin na pagalalahanin pa siya.
Humarap muna ako sa kanya. I caressed his face.
"I'm sorry. Nagpasama kasi 'yung friend ko, medyo natagalan kami kaya hindi na ako nakahabol."
I looked at him in the eyes. He pouted. Mahal na mahal ko talaga siya.
"I looked for you but you weren't there."
"I'm sorry, Ken. I'm really sorry." Sobrang nagi-guilty ako. "I'm sure marami namang fans ang nandoon para suportahan kayo." I even tried to lighten up his mood pero no effect.
"But you're the only one I need." I exhaled a long breath. Paano ko sasabihin ang tungkol sa kumakalat na issue? Ayoko na magalala pa siya at baka maapektuhan ang career niya.
"I'm really sorry, Ken. Promise, hindi na ako mawawala sa mga succeeding events ninyo." And I sealed my promise with a kiss. A kiss that he willingly accepted and responded. As I let my hands wander on his body, I felt his sweat.
"Pawis na pawis ka." Sabi ko na may halong pagaalala. Ayoko na natutuyuan siya ng pawis. Hindi niya pinansin ang sinabi ko at akmang hahalik ulit pero pumalag ako. I took a seat and turned on the lights.
"Dumiresto ka ba dito from BGC?" I asked. He looked away. "Ken?"
"No. "
"Yung totoo?" He took a deep breath before speaking again.
"Bumalik muna kami sa Condo tapos tumakbo na ako dito." Mariin ko siyang tiningnan.
"Eh di hindi ka pa kumain?" Hindi siya sumagot. I sighed and grabbed his hand. "Tara. Kumain ka muna tapos maligo na."
"Maligo?" Napalingon ako sa kanya.
"Oo, freshen up before you sleep."
"Sabay tayo?" Pagpapa-cute niya pa. Natawa nalang ako. Jusko po, Felip.
"Oo na. Sige na. Pero kumain ka muna." Para siyang bata na mabilis tumayo at hinila pa ako. Sinabayan ko na rin siyang kumain kahit nag-dinner na ako. "Dahan dahan lang, baka mabulunan ka niyan." Nagmamadali kasi. Nginitian niya lang naman ako. I love watching him, it doesn't matter what he's doing. I love it when he's being himself. 'Yung Ken na makulit, mapangasar, medyo pilosopo, at ma-kwento.
"Nakita ko na pala 'yung online advertisement niyo for Netflix. Nakakatuwa. Sino nagisip na gumawa ng parody?"
"Si Pablo"
"Wow. Ang galing niya talaga. Ang gwapo niyo rin doon."
"Pero ako ang pinaka gwapo" bigla niya namang pagmamayabang kaya natawa ako.
"Oo na. Ikaw ang pinaka gwapo sa lahat ng gwapo." Ngumiti siya sa akin na parang bata.
"Let's go." He then said, standing in front of me. I tilted my head and looked at him.
"Mag-toothbrush ka muna bago matulog." Sagot ko.
"Hindi pa naman tayo matutulog."
"Eh? 9 na kaya." Mariin siyang nakatingin sa akin habang dahan dahang lumapit at tsaka ako inakay patayo. He put his arms around my waist.
We were staring at each other and not saying anything. Before I knew it, we were already inside the bathroom.
"Kumusta ka naman? Nakakapagpahinga pa ba kayo sa sobrang tight ng schedule ninyo?" His hands were scrubbing my back.
"Hindi na masyado but I'm fine." He put a peck on my shoulder as we were both sitting inside the bathtub.
"Araw araw may event kayo, minsan hindi na ako makasabay sa dami ng ganap niyo sa buhay." I sighed then turned around to face him. I put my hands on his head and massaged his scalp. His arms settled on my waist and gave me a soft kiss. " I'm grateful that you can still find time to be with me."
"Because I love you." I gave him a shy smile.
"Hindi ka ba natatakot?" I asked after a long silence. Mariin niya akong tiningnan. Humugot ako ng malalim na buntong hininga. "Sooner or later, the truth will come out."
Hindi siya sumagot agad kaya nagpatuloy lang ako. Ito ang mga tanong na ayoko sanang isipin pero alam ko na kailangan naming harapin.
"You are getting more popular day by day. Your fanbase is growing. Some fans are possessive. Minsan natatakot ako, what if they know about us? What will they do to me? To you? What will happen to us? " His hands slowly made their way to my face. Tumingin rin ako sa kanyang mga mata.
Mas natatakot ako ngayon kaysa noong estudyante pa lang kami at inililihim din ang relasyon namin sa mga magulang ko. Akala ko noong nalaman na nila, magiging payapa na ang loob ko kahit na naapektuhan nito ang family relationship namin. But that was not the end, we still have lots of obstacles that we need to surpass. At mas nakakatakot ngayon.
"I will protect you. I will do my best so that no one can harm you." I just forced myself to smiledl. He's really sweet kahit na alam ko na limited lang naman ang maaari niyang gawin kung ayaw niyang masira ang career na meron na siya ngayon.
"Langga" Tawag niya sa akin.
"Hmm?" I leaned on him.
"Hindi ka ba napapagod sa akin?"
Natigilan ako at muli ay napatingin sa kanya.
"Ha?" I asked, wanting him to repeat his question. He avoided my gaze.
"Wala lang. Kasi bihira lang tayo magkita. I can't show you off. We can't see each other in public. I can't be the best boyfriend for you."
"You are the best partner for me." Tumingin na siya sa akin. Puno ng pangamba ang kanyang mga mata.
"But I can't give you the life you deserve." Mas inilapit ko pa ang sarili ko sa kanya.
"I'm living my best life because I have you. If I would go back in time, I would still choose you. Pipiliin kita. Pipiliin kita araw araw dahil mahal kita." He wrapped his arms around my waist and I put mine on his neck. "I don't mind if we can't date in public, I prefer to have you on my own. Kung mapagod man ako, magpapahinga lang ako pero hindi ako susuko. I will never get tired of you, Ken. I will never get tired of loving you. I will never get tired of fighting for us. Never."
My tears fell because of the overflowing emotions I am feeling. Mahal na mahal ko siya. Mahal na mahal ko si Ken.
"I love you so much." He whispered. I cried more. "Please, don't cry." He wiped my tears and cupped my face. "Kaya natin 'to. We can overcome anything as long as we have each other." He assured. I kissed him.
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PrettyLonelyPrincess
BINABASA MO ANG
When the Sun hides
Fanfiction'Sometimes, to love is to sacrifice. It is about wishing and acting accordingly so that the person you love is happy and safe. Even if it is to sacrifice. It is because when we love someone we want to see that our loved ones are happy and safe, no...
