Subterranean | H.S.

S26

Persephone's pov

I push the trolley through the aisles, leaning my weight on it. All I can hear is beeping coming from the cash registers and it's driving me mental. Ever since I left the hospital I'm not feeling well. I can't sleep, I can't function normally. I have a constant headache and I'm not feeling very after letting the rain completely drench me. I broke almost half of my cups because I'm so weak, I'm not able to take a hold of anything. Jack sees that there's something wrong but I don't want to share it with him, he's not going to understand what I'm going through, plus he doesn't care that much. The only thing he'll understand is me not having enough supplies to take. That's the only pain I really believe he understands. Men are just so stupid it hurts.

Jack walks through another aisle, looking for God knows what. I've had enough of him for the last several days. It made me feel better, him being embarrassed at my parents' house, but it wasn't enough for him to leave me alone. And ever since I visited Arnie all I wanted to be is alone and he seems not to see that I'm not in the mood for spending time with him. I'm starting to see more and more of those things that Riley told me about back at the club and the hospital. I feel stupid for not believing her.

After meeting Harry, I sent him a message, saying where I live and what time he should come and pick me up. He answered me with a little smiley face. That made me giggle. 

I'm stressed, afraid of what Jeff will say, how Jade and Riley are going to react to me being back. It's been only a few days, not talking to my best friend but I feel like months have passed. I feel like something is missing without her, a huge piece of me. 

Jack puts another bag of chips into the trolley. By now it's all full of unhealthy food and alcohol.

''Do you need anything else?'' I ask, wishing that he's done. I'm tired of all of the interactions with him. I want to go home, get in bed and cover myself with a duvet. I just need to feel some kind of comfort after everything. 

I have to go home and get ready and I can't believe I'm saying that, but for the first time I don't want to go to the club. I don't have the energy to talk to others and explain myself in front of my boss and friends. I want to stay home. I don't even want to go to the hospital. But I know that I have to because I love that job and just because it's a bad time it doesn't mean it won't pass. 

Now I feel sick to my stomach, thinking about Arnie. He's going to realize that he's losing his beautiful hair. And as a good friend, I should be there for him to support him but I just can't. I need someone to be here for me and support me first so I'll have the strength to go there with a smile on my face and explain everything to that poor, little boy. I just need some time, but I know I might not have a lot of it. The clock never stops until it's broken. 

I feel like a bad friend, a bad best friend, and a horrible girlfriend. 

''One more thing and we're done here.'' He answers me, walking past me. He doesn't really care about me.

Jack's not going to be a problem tonight, since he's leaving for a night with his friends. He'll return tomorrow, feeling hungover, or won't even come to my place. Plus his car is getting fixed, so he's using mine. He thinks he left me with no transport, so there's no way he's going to suspect a thing. 

In the beginning, I was planning on breaking his car so he'd have to use mine, send him somewhere, or tell him that I'm going to meet with Riley, but the problem solved itself and I'm more than happy about that. 

I'm nervous thinking about Harry, but then I don't really think he's actually going to take it so literally and drive me back and forth for supposedly a very long time. He's a boss in a company. He has a lot of work. Even the fact that he was at work when I went to talk to him. It was super late and he was occupied with something. It'd be uncomfortable to drive to my work so often with someone else but I know that Harry would be more than better for me in that situation. I don't think I have enough trust in myself to trust another person right now.