Today I finally admitted to my loved ones that I am struggling with my addiction, so this collection is about that.
TW: addiction
The phone call
I swore to myself that it would be the last time only to find myself looking for more.
I laid on my bedroom floor and realized that if I really wanted to be different, if I really meant it this time, I couldn't do it alone.
I decided I would tell them, they deserve to know and I deserve to change.
I began my day, the sun rose and soon I asked her if she could talk.
I told her about the relapse.
Soon I called my sister and mom and told them as well.
I admitted that I need help.
I am utterly terrified yet entirely hopeful.
The unexpected birthday gift
This seventeenth birthday of mine went far from as expected.
I didn't think I'd be calling my sister and admitting I needed to go to rehab, but it was exactly what needed to happen.
I can't stop on my own and I don't want this to be another year spent chasing after the warmth that will never come.
I am scared beyond belief, but this is the birthday gift I needed.
Change
I am utterly terrified, admitting this has gotten far past what I can handle has been one of the most unnerving things I have done so far.
Knowing I may spend thirty days away from all I know is unsettling in a way I do not have words for.
I don't know what lies ahead, but I am sure it will be different.
YOU ARE READING
Candlelit midnights
PoetryA poetry book written during a darker time in my life, covering topics like addiction and relapse along with happy and romantic moments. Although the original title was different I choose this title to represent how writing was a light in the dark...
