Enfettered

29

Sab

It's been two weeks mula nung umalis si Ian at bumalik si Andrew. Okay naman ako but there's so much for me to take because Daddy is clearly not happy with everything. Ang nakakaloka, bumalik na naman kami sa topic na kailangan ko na lamang ibigay sa kanila ni Mommy si Aya at bumuo na lamang ako ng pamilya with Andrew.

I was hoping Mommy would oppose Daddy's proposals but she agreed! She agreed to take Aya! Buti na lang Myelle and Ate are still on my side!

Isa pa sa iniintindi ko yung biglaang pagkawala ng saya ni Aya. She used to be a happy kid, even with Appa, she isn't having fun. Everytime I will ask if there's something wrong or if there's something she'd like to ask or do, lagi nyang sagot ay "nothing" o kaya "none". I once tried to open the topic about her father pero wala naman syang masyado reaction. She just smiled.

I sighed.

"What do you think I need to do Ada?"

"Parang mali naman ang tanong mo Sab."

"Bakit ano ba dapat?"

"What did I do wrong dapat!"

I rolled my eyes. Ada's here with me, hihiramin nya si Aya kasi may halloween party sa office nya. Si Aya kasi behave na, yung mga anak ni Myelle sobrang lilikot pa at hindi daw sya makakakain ng maayos kung malilikot ang kasama nya.

"Ano? Itanong mo na dali! Sasagot ako."

"What did I do wrong?"

"For starters, wala kang puso."

"Hoy! Anong walang puso?!"

"Girl, imagine mo naman kasi pagtataboy mo dun sa tatay nya, kahit anong gawin mo, anak pa din yun eh, masasaktan yun lalo pa't wala naman pinakitang masama si Ian."

"Nasaktan ako Sab, nadurog! Alam mo naman pinagdaanan ko diba?"

"Oo, pero lisensya ba yan? Lisensya ba yan para manakit ka din?"

I rolled my eyes.

"Oh kita mo to, nayayamot ka eh nire realtalk lang naman kita."

"Deserve ni Ian yun."

"Deserve din ni Aya?"

"Iba naman si Aya."

"Hindi! Dahil kahit anong gawin mo, tatay nya si Ian at anak ni Ian si Aya, kahit pa binigyan ka ng adoption papers na yan,biologically, genetically miski pagsamahin mo pa ang Arts at Science si Ian pa rin ang Tatay ng anak mo."

I sighed.

"Tsaka meron pa, ikakasal ka, paano nga naman sya? Kahit ako si Aya, natural matatakot ako."

"Anong ikakatakot nya? Mahal naman sya ni Andrew. Andrew was there in all of her life, through her ups and downs. Hindi sya dapat matakot."

"Ang kinakatakot nung bata ay yung pagmamahal na ibibigay nya kay Andrew."

"Ano?"

"Haii nako Sab, matanda ka na. Ikaw na mag-isip. Aalis na ako! Pahiram kay Aya ha, ako na susundo, ibibili ko pa yun ng tinkerbell costume. "

"Jusko naman Madalene, 10 na yung pamangkin mo mag titinkerbell pa?"

"Bakit?! Ako din naman ah! Terno kami."

"Nako Ada!"

"Oh anong gusto mo? Unicorn kami?"

"Pwede namang simple na lang kayo."

"Ay di pwede, ang laki laki ng budget ni Lolo Daddy tapos di kami eeffort? Di pwede, dapat bongga."

I just shook my head, Ada talaga.

When Ada left, I tried pondering her words. Was it really my fault that I am so hurt I want nothing to do with Ian?

I was left alone, young, pregnant, broke, and hopeless. I forgot my dreams, I lost my soul. Every time I spend a penny for myself, I would cry because it means I would be short for Aya's needs. I tried living a double life for years. Hindi naman nila nakita kung paano ako naghirap, hindi nila alam na pagkakalabas ko sa school, I would go to some restaurant and wash dishes, that I would go and give flyers to people and pray I could sell atleast 1 condominium. Hindi naman nila alam that I sacrifice my rest and sleep for me to study dahil that's the only time I have to be able to survive it all. That I would take a lot of breakfast in the morning so I won't need to buy lunch and snacks. That I would clean the real estate office while I do my homework and project. Hindi nila alam lahat yun, all they know is I had a good life because my parents supported me. Little that everyone knows, I also experienced hunger, that I also had nothing.

I know, ako naman ay nagkamali din. I've gotten pregnant early pero ako lang ba? Diba dalawa kami? Bakit parang ako lang? Bakit nung naging okay, babalik na lang sya at masaya na kami ulit?

I sighed.

After lunch, I was supposed to just get home and rest but someone came in surprisingly.

"Sab!!!!"

"Paulo?"

"Sab! Sab!"

"Ma'am sorry po, kasi."

"Okay lang, Belle, sige kaibigan ko sya."

Iilan na nga kaibigan ko, pasaway pa! Kaloka tong si Paulo bigla-bigla na lamang pumasok sa kwarto ko. Akala neto ata ay nasa bahay ko lang sya.

"Ano ba yun Paulo?"

"Sab, nasa ospital si Ian."

He was in panick but I just sighed.

"Anong kinalaman ko Paulo?"

"He's so sick, Sab."

"And?"

Paulo sighed.

"Sab, Ian is sick, he is dying. He had a chronic kidney diesease and he needs to undergo dialysis."

"And?"

"And he doesn't want to be treated."

"Paulo, that's his decision."

"Sab, you can help!"

"Paulo, anong kinalaman ko?"

Paulo shook his head.

"Nakalimutan kong galit ka nga pala, nakalimutan kong hindi na nga pala sya importante sayo. Nakalimutan kong sinaktan ka nya kaya deserve nya to. Pasensya ka na, akala ko kasi matutulungan mo ako. Kasi kahit gago yun, ikaw at si Aya lang ang minahal nya. Pasensya ka na, hinding hindi ko na ilalapit sayo si Ian."

Paulo walked away pero hinabol ko.

"Paulo!"

"Paulo!!!"

"Paulo naman eh."

"Hindi kita pipilitin Sab. Tutal magagalit din naman si Ian na sinabi ko sayo."

"Paulo."

"I know you're mad but I can't believe you become so heartless."

"Paulo you have to understand me."

"I do. I hope you too. Because Sab, before anything else, we were each others safe zone. We are each other's confidant."

"Paulo."

Paulo sighed.

"I am sorry Sab for wasting your time today."

"Paulo."

Why is it Ian and only Ian? Bakit ba parang ako na lang talaga ang may kasalanan sa lahat? Pati ba naman sakit nya ako pa rin ang may kasalanan??!

"Don't worry, I will never come again."

"Paulo!"

I sighed. Ayaw kong mawalan ng kaibigan kaya I decided to listen to Paulo.

"Nasaan ba si Ian?"

Paulo gave me the address which I accepted. I drove going to a furniture shop. Ang layo neto ha!