Sab
It's been a week, pitong araw na walang kahit anong paramdam man lamang si Ian. Kung iisipin, hindi nya naman gagawin to, hindi sya ang mangiiwan at hindi ko maintindihan ang lahat!
Paulo and Jun even came everyday since we got home to look at Aya tapos si Ian na aman nya kahit silip, di man lang sinisilip ang anak nya?!
More than me getting mad at him, I am so worried, hindi naman nya kami iiwan eh. Mahal kami ni Ian, hinintay nya ito eh, hinihintay nyang maging pamilya kami, hinihintay nyang dumating si Aya.
I got so worried I cannot wait anymore.
"Saan ka pupunta Sab?"
"Myelle, hindi nagpaparamdam si Ian, I need to look for him."
"Sab! Iilang araw ka pa lang nakakalabas from the hospital! Hindi ka pa pwedeng umalis."
"Pero Myelle, please, sandali lang ako."
"Sabrielle!"
"Myelle, I need to know, 7 days na! Ni tawag wala, kahit isang text wala! Myelle! Ikakabaliw ko! I need to know."
Myelle sighed.
"Sabrielle, mahina ka pa!!"
"Lalo akong manghihina Myelle! Nagaalala ako, mababaliwa ako! Please Myelle please!"
"Sab!"
"Parang awa mo na Myelle, I need to find answers, I need to know!"
"Pero--"
"Myelle, I cannot just stay put, parang awa mo na Myelle. Please?"
Myelle sighed.
"Okay, sige, ako na muna bahala kay Aya, come home quick, baka magutom si Aya. Tsaka wag kang magtagal sa labas."
I nodded and kissed my Baby Aya.
Para mabuo na tayo anak, aalis muna si Momma.
Myelle even lends me her car and asks Kuya Gary to drive for me. I went to Ian's apartment.
"Neng?"
"Nanay Rosie! Andito po ba si Ian?"
"Naku Neng, umalis na ah? Teka, kayo ba'y naghiwalay?"
"Po?"
"Nung isang linggo pa umalis jan, ipinagbili pa ngang lahat ng gamit."
"Po?"
Nanay Rosie nodded.
"Ay hintay ka nga pala."
She ran inside her house and I still go inside Ian's apartment, wala nang laman?! Anong nangyari?! Totoo ba yung sinasabi ni Nanay Rosie?
"Ay, oh, Sab ito daw ay ibigay ko sa'yo."
"Ano po ito?"
"Yung pinagbilihan ng bahay, kasama na rin yung napagbili sa ilang gamit na iniwan nya. Ay ang sabi, sayo ko daw ibibigay."
"Po?"
"Ay nako, ako'y babalik na at may nabili. Jan ka na muna."
At dahil tang* ako, kahit na sinabi na ni Manang Rosie, I went inside the apartment and still look for him, I searched and search, paikot ikot, mukhang baliw dahil maliit lang naman ang apartment.
When I finally accepted that he was nowhere here, I sat down and cry.
Para akong nakalutang ni wala akong naging reaksyon kundi puro pagluha. I just called Paulo and Jun. Wala akong mapagisipanan. Ian left me? Iniwan nya kami ni Aya? The money is a lot but is this our worth? I cried hard, my heart is tightening.
"Sab."
"Sab!"
"Jun, iniwan ako ni Ian."
Jun hugged me. Hindi sya nagsasalita.
"Jun, sabihin mo, asaan si Ian, kailangan namin mag-usap! Bakit?! Bakit nya ako iniwan?!!"
"Sab, tahan na Sab!"
"Sabihin mo Jun please, mag-usap muna kami."
"Sab, tama na."
Jun hugged me tighter.
"Jun, anong ginawa kong mali??"
"Wala Sab, wala."
I am crying inside Jun's arms. My heart is beyond broken. How can Ian do this to me?! He left, just left. Wala man lang sinabi. How can he be this cruel? How can he ditch me and our daughter like this??
"Sab, ihahatid ka na namin."
I can't answer Jun and Paulo, iyak lang ako ng iyak. I didn't know my heart's gonna be this broken.
"Jun, Paulo, tulungan nyo ako, tulungan nyo akong makausap si Ian please.
"Sab.."
"Hindi, hindi nya kami pwedeng iwan. Pano na kami?"
"Sab, hahanapin namin si Ian, pero umuwi ka na, kailangan ka na ni Aya. Please."
And just like that, I ended the love I hoped for so much, just like that, I was a single mother to my beautiful baby girl. Just like that, I am on my own.
"Sab?"
"Anong nangyari Sabrielle???"
Myelle
"Myelle? Bakit ikaw may hawak kay Aya? Asaan na si Sab?"
"Umiiyak."
"Ha?"
I sighed.
"Iniwan na talaga ng tuluyan ni Ian sila Sab at Aya."
"Ha?"
"Hindi ko din maintindihan Ate, pero nagaalala ako kay Sab."
Ate sighed.
"I hope she gets back on her feet soon."
After that day, Sab was never the same. Halos dalawang buwan na walang ginawa kundi umiyak, ni hindi na sya nakapagbreastfeed. She even had postpartum deperession that we needed to ask professional help.
Sab was even hospitalized for not eating enough.
More than Sab being devastated, si Mommy got so worried that it toiled her health. Mom got sick too.
"Sab"
And again, she won't talk.
I sighed.
"Mommy's sick too Sab."
She looked at me.
"Mommy needs you to be well, Aya needs you to be well, we all need you well Sab."
And she cried again.
"We cannot discount the pain you experiencing this, I cannot blame you that you want to just lock yourself and cry. Pero Sab, strong ka diba? You are a lot stronger than I am, you are stronger than what you think you are. Di ka naman magiisa eh, andito ako oh, andito sila Mommy at Daddy."
Sab hugged me.
"Tama na ang pag-iyak Sab, buwan na ito eh, buwan ka na umiiyak, buwan ng tumigil ang mundo mo. Tama na ha?"
Sab sobbed.
I just wish my sister recovers from this pain, she deserves better.
