Enfettered

12

Sab

I woke feeling all bad. Ang sakit ng katawan ko, ang sama ng pakiramdam ko.

"Sab!"

"Mi."

"How are you?"

"I'm not feeling so well Mi."

Mommy sighed. Ang bigat talaga ng pakiramdam ko.

"Sab, you are pregnant. I told you to always be careful to keep away yourself from stress."

I sighed. Syempre hindi ko pwedeng sabihin kay Mommy bakit ako ganito.

"Sab! Is the baby okay?"

I smiled at Ada, she looked really worried.

"Okay lang si Baby, Ada."

"Totoo yun Mommy? Hindi nagsusungaling si Sab?"

"Oo Ada, why are you here? Did you say you're going to Ate?"

"Myelle's coming so I better go to Myelle but I need to see Sab because I want to make sure the baby's okay."

"That's so sweet of you Ada, you're a good Tita."

"Buntot naman ni Myelle yan Mommy"

"I hate you Sab! I will bully the baby!"

"You can't! Mas love kaya ni Myelle yung baby kesa sa'yo!"

Ada rolled her eyes. Talaga naman to oh! And Ada as a brat was escorted by Mommy down the cafeteria dahil gutom na naman ang mga dragon sa tyan nung taong yun.

"Beb."

I kept quiet and closed my eyes.

"Beb, Beb please don't get mad at me."

I hid under the blanket.

"Beb, Beb please."

"Beb, please forgive me, please."

I hear the door open but I remained under the blanket covering me in full.

"Pinalabas ko na si Ian Sab, common, get out."

I slowly went out of the blanket.

"So?"

I sighed.

"Hindi ka naman pwedeng magtago dahil kasing laki mo na yang tyan mo."

"Myelle!"

"So what happened Sab?"

"Myelle."

"Don't Myelle me. Ano nangyari sa'yo? Sa inyo?"

I sighed.

"Sab??"

"Ian stopped schooling."

"And?"

"And Myelle, what are we getting in the future?"

Myelle sighed and seat on the bed beside me.

"You stopped too Sab."

"I know but that's because I got pregnant!"

"How do you think he can provide well? Sab the world is cruel to those who don't have money. We are lucky we are able. Maybe he just wants to have enough for the both of you."

"But to stop? Myelle kung pareho kaming titigil, kung pareho naming sasayangin ang panahon at pagkakataon, what will happen?"

"Sab, calm down. No one's stopping and no one is rushing. Maybe he just wants to pause. Everything has been too fast for the both of you, pausing maybe something of help for the both of you."

"But Myelle..."

"Sabbie, please calm down. I know this pregnancy changed you, I know it made you a different person pero can you please make the adventurous, happy Sab who trusts fate come back? Can you please learn to trust again?"

I sighed.

"I know Sab, I know you too well, I know what you want is not just the safety of your baby but the assurance that you will make her have a good future. Just the same happy life Mommy and Daddy gave us."

I hugged Myelle.

"C'mmon Sab, be okay soon and talk this over. Be like Mommy and trust the future, do not stop here, do not stop today. I know you want your baby to have a good future by ensuring Ian's but Sab, it is not easy for Ian too. We all know how hard he is trying, give him this one. Talk and forgive."

"Thank you Myelle."

"Just don't worry, we'll always be here, I will always be here."

Ian

"Ian, pagpasensyahan mo na si Sab, I know it's not the same for you guys. Sorry that Sab changed."

"It's my fault Ate Myelle."

"Maybe Ian, but it's hers too. Sab being pregnant is not one person's fault. Just please don't get too afraid like Sab, be there for her. And explain to her, explain it well."

"I am, I will, Thank you Ate Myelle."

"Sige na pumasok ka na, will be back later.You signed up for this, you know how to calm her down."

I took a deep breath and brought the flowers I am holding since morning today.

"Beb."

Ofcourse, my love won't have any comment. Ni ayaw nga akong tingnan.

"Beb, I know I lied to you, I know it wasn't good and any explanation is not acceptable pero Beb, ginawa ko lang naman yun para sa atin."

"Sa atin? You stopped Ian!"

"Kasi Beb hindi ko kayang pagsabayin ang pag-aaral at pagiipon."

"Sana sinabi mo Ian, sana hindi mo pinilit na gumastos para sa akin."

"Beb, I signed up for this."

"I told you already Ian, I told you so many times that we need you to finish this. We need you to graduate so we can have a better future."

"I cannot make that future happen if I won't stop for awhile. Hindi ko kaya ang gastos sa school at sa atin ng sabay. Hindi sasapat ang mayroon tayo."

"Hindi sapat kasi masyado na agad mataas ang target mo eh! Sabi ko sayo, let me give birth to a public hospital or in lying in! I told you not to overbuy! I told you we can manage by me just having enough! You told me you have it all under your control!"

"But that's what you deserve."

"I deserved that only if we have waited for the right time, I deserved that If I haven't gotten pregnant early. I deserved that if I obeyed my parents but Ian, No, I did not. So what I deserve is to not have the best. What I deserve is to take what is enough. Just enough."

"Beb."

"Ian, what will happen to us now that you've stopped too?"

"I promise Beb, I promise to go back to school and finish architecture, I promise I'll be an Architect, pero kasi Sab mas importante sa akin na mapatunayang kaya kong panindigan ang pagiging ama ko, ang pagiging partner mo. Beb, I am never been this serious, so please, please let me earn your father's trust, please let me earn my self trust. Promise, I will be Architect Adrianno Romulo, someday Beb, someday."

Sab took a deep breath.

"Ian, kapag mahirap na, let me know. Hindi ka nagiisa dito."

"Alam ko Beb, pero hayaan mo ako please."

"Promise me, you'll get back to school."

"Yes, I promise."

"Promise me, you'll be an Architect."

"I will."

"Don't lie to me again Ian, please."

"I promise Beb, I promise. Please forgive me."

"I would never forgive you if you fail me again."

"I love you Beb, I love you and our baby very much."

Then failing would never be an option for me.