Closets Or Not| j.sims+c.johnson

Chapter 11

Jakes POV

My head hurt. And it had for days and I didn't like it. My chest always seemed to be in pain. I couldn't tell why but it needed to stop. Every time I saw Casey and he would glare at me pain would swell in my chest. I knew what it meant. My heart was broken.

"Jakey?" I look up expecting to see Casey but its not. It's only Charlie. Charlie's been my best friend through this. He smiles at me. I again was on the window sil. I look down and then bak up at him. With a fake smile. We were in Spain this week and it was hot. I had worn a tank too yesterday. I never thought I would wear make up. But I has to cover my cuts. Today I didn't feel like the hassle. But I knew I needed to.

"Yeah mate?"I ask standing and crossing my arms. I had a tank top on and to keep my arms crossed because I had yet to put make up on. Wow I sound like a girl. But this was important. I knew the boys would freak, then they'd really kick me out of the band.

"Chris, Reece, Tom and I were gunna go get something to eat then maybe go sight seeing. Wanna come?" He asks with excitement. I didn't know how I could tell him no. I was still my pajamas, or what I had worn to bed. I nod my head.

"Yeah give me like five minutes of so." He nods and rushes off. I go to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I talked to myself. I did that a lot lately seeing as I couldn't talk to Casey about anything.

"Your gunna be okay." I repeat the little girls words over and over in my head. In the back of my head I'm hoping that the girl forgets. Because then when she grows up and she doesn't realize that she talked a pop star out of suicide. But at the same time I want her to remember so she can know that the world isn't perfect but you always need to help people to stay in it.

I put a new outfit on and scan my body. None of my cuts on my legs are clear my the ones on my arms stick out clear as day. I cuss and take out the make up. I covered them pretty well and if any of the it's asked. Then they were scars. When I was satisfied with my cover up I went back into my room. I grabbed my wallet and phone. Sliding then both into septet pockets seeing as if I put them in the same pocket then that pocket would be heavy.

I then make my way down the hall. I often find myself walking slower as I pass Casey's room. But not today I didn't. I only glanced to find him still asleep. He's sleeping and I'm up all night long at the window sil. I wait till James falls asleep and then I go to the window sil. Then plug my phone to a charge, put my headphones on and listen to my music.

"Lets go." I say going down and find that everyone had been waiting. I sigh. We walk and Charlie's on my left and Tom on my left. Chris on the other side of Charlie and a reece next to Tom. We walked till we found a place that looked ok to us.

I kept my arms crossed as we say down. The five of us talked and no brought up Casey or his accusation at all. I had no problem with answering them. But I had a problem talking about Casey. I couldn't do it. My hands would swet, my mouth would be dry and I couldn't breath is that happened.

We got out drinks and the waiter kept glancing at me. She seemed nice but I only smiled at her. She glanced at my arms and her face dropped. I looked down and she left. I turned to look back at her. She gave me a sympathetic look.

"What was that about?" Reece asks as I look back at them. Shit, come up with a lie. I rubbed my arms and scratched at my wrist under the table.

"She's very.... attractive." I said to them with the fakest smirk I've ever made. Reece chuckles and shakes his head. Charlie looks at me with a small smile and then looks down. Tom is just staring out into the distance. I can't tell what he's starting but it's something he can't take his eyes off. Chris is laughing as usual and is telling a joke to the two youngest.

The front door opens and I look up. I then cuss and look down. Charlie looks over and his eyes widen.

"Casey" Tom says to him with a cold tone. I look down and then I feel someone kick me. It was Charlie who was on my left and I looked at him. He gave me a look that red "do you want to leave" I shook my head and out my gaze elsewhere before he would answer me.

Casey sat down and my hands began to swet. I cussed because it was starting. I then grabbed my drink and took a sip of it. And so on every few seconds. I clenched my fists then stood up. All eyes were then on me. I was going to start gasping for air soon. Casey was glaring at me inquisitively. All the others have concern rinse faces.

"I've- bathroom." Then I ran off. My head hurt again and I tried not to stumble as I made my way to the bathroom. I hid in a stale. My head I my hands. I kept my head down as I felt as if I was going to be sick. I was too busy with my own head to be concerned that someone had come in.

"Are you okay?"

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A/N

I'm sorry for not updating!!! Happy Mothers Day everyone!!

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