Closets Or Not| j.sims+c.johnson

Chapter 15

Jakes POV

Now I was wishing I hadn't listened to that little girl. I was wishing that I had jumped. I didn't want anyone to know about this. Especially Casey.

"J-Jakey I don't even know what I say." His voice is weak and I look down. I can't look at him. I can't seem to breath right. I clench my fists.

"W-why?" He asks and I can tell he's gunna start crying. I can't answer him if I do it will break him. And then he'll hate me. I don't want that.

"I'm sorry." He sighs and runs a shaky had threw his hair. He then scowls and looks back. I see some small amount of anger in his eyes but most of it is tears.

"Sorry you did it or sorry you got caught?" His voice hides all his sadness behind anger as he hisses as me. I look down and I can't say anything. Because I don't know the answer.

"Casey I don't know what to say." I didn't. If I told him it was his fault he'd loose it. He'd spin out of control and he'd... he'd become me.

"Just tell me why you did it!" He yelled and I flinched. I didn't like this, not at all. He was yelling and I felt as if he might hit me, but I knew he wouldn't.

"I can't!" I yell back and he flings his arms around. I could see tears in his eyes and I felt bad. I couldn't tell him. I knew he was mad, but if I told him it would break his heart. And I'd rather have him mad at me than have him heart broken.

"Why not! I'm your best friend!" He yells out and I sigh. I look down at my arm and sigh again. I feel anger in me that he won't drop it. I don't want him to know. I can't let him know.

"If I told you you'd freak!" I yell back and he rolls his eyes. Casey and I had never yelled at each other. He seems frustrated and I swallow a lump in my throat. My hands are shaking and I can't get them to stop.

"I'm not gunna-"

"I did it because I love you!" I yell and tune I gasp. Next I cover my mouth and he rolls his eyes. I can see that he doesn't seem to care ad. I don't think he got it.

"Jake your my best friend I love-" I shake my head and cut him off.

"Not like that Case." I say in a whisper and look down.

"Jake I'm so confused."he says and takes a small step towards me. I step back.

"I'm in love with you, you moron." I say and his eyes widen. He stammers and looks down. I can't look at him at all. I feel tears roll down my face.

"I'm sorry." Then I run out of the room. My head down and my feet fast. I walk past the recording room that the boys are in. I can't stay here, not anymore.

My feet move across the pavement as fast as they can and I want to go anywhere. Somewhere. I stop and then run across the street. Then I make my way to the another bridge. Not the same one I had been to last week.

I climb up to the top and sit. My head hurt and so did my arms. I can't do it. I can't handle it. I- the band is my life. If I loose that and Casey. I'm nothing.

I close my eyes and feel my heart rate spike. I clench my fists and sigh out a shaky breath. I can't deal with this. I can't break down again. Not like last time.

I had lied to Casey when I told Casey I wasn't gay. I had dated a guy before.

Worst mistake of my life.

*Flashback*

"Jason please! I'm sorry!" I cried out as his fist came in contact with my stomach. He smirked and kicked me again. My head hurt too from 'falling' down the stairs last week. That's what Jason told me to tell everyone. But the truth is he pushed me.

"You couldn't keep your god damn hands off of her! Your mine!" He yelled out and pulled my hair. I yelped and he hit my again, grabbed my hair harder. I didn't feel bad, I was just talking to a girl. I wasn't flirting and even if I was. Usually he's not this rough. But I guess he's been on edge since his brother died in a car accident.

"I-I'm sorry Jason. Please. I-I love you." I say and my voice breaks slightly. He looks at me. He pets my hair and I force myself not to flinch.

"I love you too baby. Now you know this is for your own good?" he asks and I nod slowly. He's right. This was for my own good. I was a terrible boyfriend to him. I shouldn't have been near that girl.

"Good."

*End of Flashback*

I swing my legs back and forth. My mouth feels dry and I can't breath. I just can't. I push my arms a bit and lean forests off the bridge.

Your playing with death.

"Jake!" I don't look up because I don't care. I don't care at all. I have no purpose in this world. The guys I love is a homophobe. My band mates are gunna kick my out. My fans are gunna hate me. The guys I love is gunna hate me forever. There's no point to it.

"Jake Sims get your ass down from there!" I shake my head. I don't even know who it is. All I can hear are the words.

"Please Jake!" I close my eyes. The I look up to see Casey. No he can't be here.... I can't. No he.... please no. Now I'm crying harder too. He comes up from behind me and pulls me off of edge.

"Jake I'm sorry."

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A/N

I'm crying right now...... can you hear my sobbing? My friend is going to kill me for this chapter. Wait till she sees what happens next.... I'm sorry in advance....

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