Closets Or Not| j.sims+c.johnson

Chapter 37

Jakes POV

"W-what?" my voice was broken just like my heart. Casey couldn't really mean those words right? Or am I just delusional and he still loves Betsy.

"You heard me. If you can't tell me this then were through." His voice is stern and emotionless. He just stands there waiting for my answer. Which is worse, losing the only person I've ever loved or telling them about your deepest darkest secret that could cause you to loose them? It's better to spare those you love from pain.

"I'm sorry Case." I say in a small broken voice and I hear him sigh. I didn't want to loose him I wanted to tell him I really did but I couldn't. I just wasn't ready. Why couldn't he understand that?

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Ellie's POV

I stood up from my spot on the couch where I was laying with Barclay to go get a drink. As I walked to the kitchen I saw Jake running out of the house in a rush.

"Jake?" I asked and he turned to look at me for only a moment but that moment was enough. His eyes were red and tearing. His face was tear standing and I could see his hand scratching at him wrist. My eyes widened and his hands were shacking. What had happened.

"Jake!" I yelled out the door but I couldn't find him. He has just..... vanished.

"El what is it babe?" Barclay asks coming out to the door way where I am. I shake my head and walk past him. The only time I've seen Jake cry like that is over Casey. And if this Casey's fault I'm gunna kick that boys ass.

I walk to there room and see Casey sitting on the window sil rocking back and forth. I stop for a moment and then approach him swiftly.

"What did you do?" I snap and I know he knows what I mean. He sighs and begins looking at the tattoo on his wrist. Now it's mangled with cuts and scars and I almost feel bad for him.

"I broke up with him." Hi voice is small and whisper, almost as if he's talking to himself.

"What?!" I scream and then jump on him. I don't know what had taken over me but I couldn't control it at all. I pulled at him hair. But soon I had hands all over me pulling me off. I thrashed around and finally stopped as I realized there's no way I was getting out. Barclay now had a grip on me and I sighed.

"Ellie what the hell!" Reece yelled at me and I felt as if I should hit him too. He had no clue what he was talking about. At all. Barclay just held his grip as he felt me lunge forward.

"What the hell?! Listen here pretty boy you don't know what the hell your talking about! So shut the fuck up!" I scream at him and attempting to claw his eyes out but he steps back.

"Oh really what could be so bad?" James hisses at me and Tom grabs his arms. James calms down and looks down.

"Jake left cause this asshole broke up with him!" I yell and all the boys have nothing to say. I glare at Casey and he has his eyes shut tight.

"What?" The boys seem as if they're gunna turn on Casey. Casey closes his eyes tight along with his fist.

"I- he- it's a long story." He whispers. And looks down at the shaking hands. I feel bad for snapping at him but at the same time I want to punch him. But I knew Jake wouldn't like that.

"We have time." I hiss at him. He then sighs and begins to talk.

********

"-he just wouldn't tell me and we promised not to keep anything from each other." I had listened and I understood why Casey was mad, but with what had happened with Jake he shouldn't have reacted like that. Who knows where Jake is or weather he's alive.

"We need to find Jake." My voice is small and my hands are shacking. I stand and Barclay grabs my waist.

"Do you know where he is?" he asks and I scowl. I sit down and shake my head with disappointment.

"I do." We all look at Casey. He doesn't tell us where but he soon is out the door and running down the street.

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Jakes POV

He broke up with me.

He broke up with me.

He fucking broke up with me.

I couldn't do this. I needed him and I knew he needed me. I didn't know how but I ended up at the park near our flat. And on the bridge again. But I didn't feel a strong urge to jump this time. But just sit there and compose my thoughts. For all I knew Case could be with Betsy right now and have completely forgotten about me.

The only reason he ever gave me a chance was out of pitty. He dated me because he knew if he didn't I would kill myself. And he couldn't handle the guilt. Not my death. He could handle my death but not with the guilt of begging responsible for someone's death.

"Jake!" I didn't bother to look up. I knew they were here. They would take me home and tell me that I shouldn't do it again. That I needed help. And I would promise not o do it again. And everything would be the same. Casey would take me back so I wouldn't kill myself and the feelings wouldn't be real.

"Jake get down babe! Please don't do it p-please!" I heard someone's voice break but it wouldn't tell who it was. I felt arms around my waist and they pulled me away. I was laid on the ground in someone's arms.

"Chris let go of him." I hear someone hiss from behind us.

"Shut up Casey. This is your fault." I hear a female voice hiss and I know it's Ellie.

"S-stop. I'm fine." I say quietly. Everyone looks at me for a moment but I then look down.

"No your not you were on the bridge trying to kill yourself." Casey says looking at me and then everyone looks at him.

"I wasn't gunna try to kill myself. And if I was why would you care?" I hiss at him. He looks a taken back. He then blinks and avoids my gaze by looking down.

"Okay let's go."

Well it looks like I'm gunna be sleeping in James and Chris's room tonight.

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A/N

What do you think? I like it and in sorry for not updating! Just trying to think a bit..... this ends well I swear!! I love you all!

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