Closets Or Not| j.sims+c.johnson

Chapter 17

WARNING TRIGGERING

Jakes POV
2 Days Later

I hadn't talked to Casey about the kiss. That I couldn't handle. But not talking to him at all was killing me. Today we're flying back into London and I'm spending the day with Ellie before we leave. The flight is in the late afternoon so I have almost all day with her.

"No Ellie, he kisses me." Her eyes widened before she begins blinking rapidly. She looks down for a moment then back up at me. A smile on her face. She's twiddling with my fingers and I smile weakly at her waiting for a response.

"That's great Jake." I shake my head. She looks confused and I sigh.

"He kisses me and then he ran out. We haven't talked since." I say and she nods slowly. She doesn't push for more details as others would because she knows it would only make it worse.

"I don't see how he can do that. He shares a room with you!" She exclaim and I nod. The look down. I let out a dry chuckle and look back up.

"I haven't exactly tried talking to him either." She puffs and turns her head slightly. It's funny because I know she joking.

"Well try. Maybe he likes you too." She says and I look down. I don't want to talk about this anymore. I wanted to talk about something else.

"Want to go get some food?" I asked and she nodded. We stood and began walking down the street. She soon dropped my hand and I looked over. She had come over the other night and something had been bothering her since. I told myself I would ask when we got to a restaurant.

We found a 5Guys in the back corner of a street and decided on that. I held the door for her and she faintly smiles. As her back is too me I scowl but the moment she can see me I drop the scowl and replace it with a smile. We order and soon I grab our food and she gets drinks. She picks up a booth and we sit across from each other.

We eat almost in silence and I don't like it. My back is to the door so I can't see anything. I look up at Ellie for just one moment and I see horror and surprise in her eyes.

"Ell-"

"Nothing Jake" She says in a rush and looks back down. I try to turn but Ellie grabs me and runs my gaze. I'm confused and I go back to eating. I then glance up to talk to Ellie but my eye catches something else.

Casey. On a date. With Betsy Blue English.

My heart dropped as I saw them holding hands. I don't think he saw my yet and I'd like to keep it that way. I looked back at Ellie and she gave me a sympathetic look. I look down at my fries.

"I'm not so hungry anymore." I whisper and she nods in understand meant. She goes up front and gets us to go bags. I place my extra food in there as fast as I can.

"Lets go." I whisper and practically drag Ellie out of the restaurant.

********

I walk into the flat and find Casey sitting at the island talking to James. James sees me and quickly dismisses whatever they were talking about.

"Where were you, we're leaving in ten minutes?" He says and I walk over and set my left over bag right in front of Casey as I completely ignore James. His eyes widen and he looks at me. I don't look at him.

"Have a nice date?" I hiss and begin to walk off. I hear him behind me so I spin to look at him. Face to face. Well not really cause I'm short as shit. But you get it.

"Stay away from me." He stands still as I pocket and walk off. I'm pissed and about ready to burst into tears. I move fast and hope he doesn't follow me. I go to our room and go to the balcony. I press the palms of my hands on the railing. My breathing wasn't normal and I felt as if I was having a panic attack. My heart rate I could hear all over, I could feel it too.

Everything was going so great. Casey and I were getting along he.... he kissed me. I was happy and now I'm not. Everything's bad now. I feel like absolute shit. My hands are shaking, so is my breath, and well everything. But my head is racing with terrible thoughts. I pushed myself off the balcony rails and went back inside the room.

"He doesn't want you." I whisper as I go into the bathroom. I lock the door with a shaky hand.

"He never will." My voice is very quiet. Only I can hear it. I reach down under the sink and pull out a blade that I had tapped to the top of the cabinet. I look at the words written on either side of the blade in black sharpie.

(TRIGGERING HERE)

Casey

Faggot

I sigh and pull up my sleeve seeing as somewhere I had put on a sweatshirt. I sigh in relief as the cold metal comes in contact with my cold skin. My breath is hot and fans my arm as red blood drips out of my arm. Soon it's gushing and I cuss. That was too much. Oh well, I thought. I wanted this to end anyway. I then take a sharpie and write on the mirror of the bathroom.

Casey I'm sorry.

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A/N

Nope. Nope. Nuh. Done so fucking done. This hurt to write! I'm sorry!

I was supposed to have Volleyball practice today and it got canceled!! Boo!!

Also did anyone totally see the Jasey moment going on! Casey facetimed Jake before he got on the plane back to London from Spain!! Like goals af!!! Lol @thats_me_josie did that!! #JASEYAF #JASEYMYOTP

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