Closets Or Not| j.sims+c.johnson

Chapter 16

Jakes POV

I'm shaking and I can't breath. I know Casey doesn't love me. I know he doesn't and I don't want his pitty. I pull away from him as he pulls me back. He's crying and I don't know what to do. I want to lean in but I know he doesn't love me so I not.

"Casey let me go." I say and my voice is harsh and rigid. He shakes his head and barrys his head in the crook of my neck. He then rocks us back and forth.

I look up and see Barclay coming to a jogging stop at the end of the bridge. He goes to move forward and Charlie grabs his arm. Then shakes his head.

"I can't do that. Jake please come back go the flat with us and we- we can talk." He stammers and kisses my head. I move my head away slightly. He scowls and pulls me again. I grunt and he smiles.

"I love you okay. I can't see you like this- it- it hurts." He stammers and my heart rate spikes again. But then it drops as I hear him say 'I love you', but I know it's not the same.

"Lets just go." I say and stand up fast. I walk away from him fast and I hear him sigh. I see Tom shrug and I almost turn to look at Casey. I look at Chaz and he gives me a look. I look down and walk right past all of them.

I walk fast and behind me by only a few paces is Casey. Then Chaz and Reece. Then everyone else. I keep walking and I can't figure would why I'm walking so fast. Because when I make it to the flat Casey wants to talk. I don't want to talk. I want to..... Die.

I notice that we left the for open as I walk in. I go right to Casey and our room. I go to the window and sit down. I blink and pull my sleeves. I find none and pull at my skin. Scratches all over and I almost draw blood.

"Stop that." I look up and see a crying Casey. He stands by the door way. I look down and drop my hands. He sighs. I can tell he's mad and sad.

"Jake I want to talk to you." He says and I nod. I don't want to talk but what Casey says goes. He sits next to me and I glance up.

"I can't believe you'd do that. I love you Jakey. I really do. I hate seeing you so broken. It hurts and I want it to stop and I want to help you." He says and he grabs my hand. I take mine out of his knowing its not the same.

"Casey it's been along time and I just can't..." I wasn't making any sense but in my head I am. I shake my head around and look down avoid him.

"What? What are you talking about?" he asks and grabs my hand again. He begins fiddling with my fingers. Then his hand slips under my sleeve. Pushing it up.

"It's been I long time since I've trusted and loved and felt love." I say and he sighs. He pulls his hand back and sees his hand has a small amount of blood on it. I pull my sleeve and push his hand away. He wipes of on his shorts which are black so it doesn't show and looks at me.

"I want to be there for you. Always because I love you." He says and puts his forehead on mine. I sigh and bit my lips.

"I love you Jake." He whisper and I nod. I look down as I know it's not the same. He doesn't love me the way I want him too.

"I love you too Case." I whisper and he flickers his gaze to my eyes. He then looks at my lips.

"Jake I know this is gunna sound stupid but I have a question." He whispers and looks back at my eyes. I see love and desperation in them and my breath hitches. I can't nod because his head is against mine. So I force myself. "Yes" I say quietly ad he swallows.

"Can I- can I kiss you?" Now I'm at lose for worse. I look at him and bite my lip again. I can tell he's nervous. I can't tell if he's gunna yell and laugh at me if I say yes or actually kiss me.

"Yeah you can." My voice is weak and it's a good thing you don't need to talk to kiss. His lips crash on mine and then he bites softly on my bottom lip. I smile and push my lips back into his. He tastes like.... Casey. He tastes as he smells. Like when a taste is almost like a smell. Well like that. It's his cologne. And I like it. But all to quickly he pulls back. Horror on his face. Then he stands and walks out. Leaving me confused and flustered.

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A/N

Just finished this and I need sleep! hoping to sleep well..... Maybe! Your welcome Jo!

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