A Struggle Within Itself

Chapter 32

Genniffer's Pov

Laying up in a hospital bed lifeless was the daily for me. The nurses and doctors came in, checked my body. Do my vitals, ask me how I'm feeling. Since I wasn't speaking to anyone they had a psychiatrist come in everyday and evaluated me. I answered all his questions with a shrug of the shoulders or the shake of my head. Eventually he took his notes and prescribed so anti-depressants for me and left for the day. My family came in around 5:00 everyday. They stayed for about two hours and then went back home.

Treyvian and my dad would always come in eying each other down. My dad watched Trey like he was going to steal something. Treyvian just looked annoyed. My mom stayed quiet. She had a tissue and hand sanitizer bottle in her hands or near by. They usually talked to me all at once and then one at a time.

"Genniffer we understand it's okay. You made a foolish mistake and how it must feel. We understand" Is what my dad would say. My parents left the room to let Treyvian talk to me first.

He looked everywhere but me. He sat down hunched over. Looked like he was plotting. "I don't understand. When I get caught selling weed I get kicked out for 7 years. But you hide a secret like this they just accept it. I mean look at this room. The bill is gonna be motherfucking expensive. And they just accept it. Nah." He started to pace around the room. My eyes followed him around the room aimlessly. "But how you think this makes me feel? I better not have to go around to the drug house and have niggas talking about one of my lackeys fucking my sister. Naw it ain't going down like that. So for now on I'm watching that nigga or any other nigga that comes around you." I listened to him for a while but after a while everyone's words just turned to gibberish. He exited and my mom came in. She usually sat in silence the whole time. It was fine with me. It just saved me some head movement and some shoulder shrugging.

"Well it's time for us to go Genniffer. We have to leave early today. Your father has to go back to work and we took his car here so..." my mom kept her face towards the ground and got up and kissed my forehead. She started to walk out until I stopped her.

"Wait" I said. It had been a long time since I used my voice. So when I spoke it was strong. My mom stopped and looked at me. "How come you cried when the doctor told me what was wrong? I mean I had sex and didn't tell you for two months. I was pregnant and didn't tell anyone and look where I'm at. How come you're not mad at me?" I squinted my eyes and starred at the ceiling. My mother came to my bed and and tears filled her eyes. One fell down and hit the covers.

"Because any mother would know how that feels. To loose one of her children and be told she can't have any other. It was like when your father first decided to send Treyvian away when he first figured out he was selling." She wiped her eye. "I didn't want him to go away to some boarding school. He was my baby. But your father was just so angry. So that day when he left. It felt like I was loosing my baby and I didn't know when he was coming back. Yeah he's back now. But now I missed him turn into a man. Sure I saw him grow up as a baby, but I missed him go his teenage years and figure himself out and become into the man I see now. He's 18 now on his last year of highschool and I barely even know the boy that sleeps in the room next to yours." My mom started to cry.

"Mama I'm so sorry." I began to cry myself. My mom wiped her face.

"Don't be, just get better." She kissed my forehead again and left. More tears fell from my eyes. A nurse came in to bring me my dinner and I tried to straighten up my face as fast I could so she wouldn't notice. She put the food on my lap and left. My phone rung. I picked it up. It was another call from Jaylen. I let the phone ring and go to voicemail. My lockscreen read: 15 miss calls from Brian, 9 from Aqua, and 23 from Jaylen. I didn't want to talk to any of them. What could they tell me that I haven't already been told the last couple of days. Tommorow the hospital is releasing me so they can have a one-sided conversation with me then. I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone.
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