The enemy

< Chapter 33 >

River's pov:

Trigger Warnings: alcoholism, self harm, suicidal thoughts.

I didn't have it in me to talk, let alone move.

All I could think about was my father.

He's not coming back. Ever.

I didn't even have it in me to show even the slightest reaction when Kingston approached me with a look that expressed regret and guilt.

Good. He deserves to feel like that for the pain and hurt him and his family have caused me.

As he kneeled down beside me, he began to pick up the mess of all the empty bottles of alcohol that I downed the moment I got back here.

He couldn't keep his eyes off me as I continued to down yet another bottle of vodka.

I hated the fact that I knew I was going back to that dark place in my life where I let alcohol control me and my emotions.

I've always been an alcoholic and I always knew that deep down, it'd be with me forever. But, I had some hope that maybe it would go away and I could get better.

But I was wrong.

I can already feel it getting bad again and it's not a nice feeling at all.

"Talk to me. I'm sorry." Was the first thing he said since entering the room five minutes ago.

His sentence alone made me want to cry a river but I refrained.

Does he actually mean it or is he only saying it so I don't kill him?

His voice began to sound muffled as the only thing I could think about was my dad.

"River.." he called out my name once again and he finally got my attention.

My eyes slowly moved back to his piercing green ones as my bloodshot eyes connected with his.

I'd been crying since I got back to this mansion and I wasn't ashamed to show him anymore.

He needed to know what he'd put me through.

A single tear rolled down my cheek as he reached his hand out and wiped the tear away with his thumb.

His touch was soft and gentle.

He attempted to take the bottle of vodka away from me and although I didn't have the energy to do anything, my hand instantly tightened around the bottle as I pulled it back to me and held it in a firm grip against my chest.

"River-" he tried to speak but I found it in me to interrupt him.

"Shut up." My voice came out more of a whisper as I looked away from him.

"You need to get a shower." He replied softly as if trying to be kind and caring but we both knew he was none of those things.

"I don't want one." I did. I just didn't have the energy to do anything.

I wasn't going to admit that to him though.