With Pain Come Love 2

Yaya 47

-Yaya
I can't remember the last time I had a proper sleep or a goodnight's rest. I've been sitting on this chair for 2 days now and there was no change. The first time I saw him in this condition words failed me and only tears were able to express what my mouth couldn't, I remember they even had me sedated in order to calm me down and minute I woke up I went to find him. I needed to find him. I needed to be with him. It hurt seeing him this lifeless, so helpless and so scar'd, if he saw his face right now... lord knows he'd request a plastic surgery same time to fix and make him look pretty again. I hate that he is lying in this bed for me, for my safety and for my love. Nothing I said that night was meant, I was angry and hurting that I was there because of him but now I realise that life is short and we cannot take back the words we've said nor can we take back those we never said. My greatest fear is that we didn't have enough time together. All the plans we made with each other, all the goals we want to attain, the adventures we wanted to take... we aren't even halfway with any of our lists for him to be lying here. today was my birthday and I still didn't know what to say to him.
Me: today is my birthday... this was supposed to be my first birthday with you as my boyfriend and you showing me ways you have changed my life for the better. You had plans for us today. You made promises to me for today.
I swallowed hard with a lump on my throat. Why does this feel like I'm saying goodbye to him? I took a deep breath
Me: you can't leave me. Not now. I danced for you on your birthday, I gave you a show on your birthday so you owe me a show. I need you to get your ass out of that coma and come back to me already. I still have your ring. Part of me wants to wear it and part of me isn't ready to. I won't wear it unless you wake up and put it on my finger yourself. It's the perfect fit by the way, I don't know how you managed to get my size seeing that you always making fun of my skinny fingers.
This one time he said I wouldn't survive a day as a lesbian, my girlfriend would cheat on me due to these fingers because she wouldn't be able to feel them inside of her. As much as it was an insult it was funny because he said it and it was a memory I wanted to keep. A time when he and I were happy, genuinely, insanely happy with only nice life problems and rich people problems. That being where to fly to for the weekend. Oh Melokuhle. I don't even know how many countries we've been to in this short period of time. I was holding his hand listening to the machines beeping slowly at a reasonable rate.
Me: Melokuhle I've cried enough to last me an eternity and that has all been on you. You owe me happiness now, overflowing joy, the kind that only you can bring me and nobody else. It's funny because even after everything that's happened there's nobody I'd rather be with. There's nobody i'd rather be slapped for than you because Melokuhle I love you. So much it hurts right here
I said pointing at my heart. I hope for his sake he can hear because I'm not willing to say all of this again in person shame. I'm just not that person and he of all people knows it. I got up and planted a kiss on his forehead and sat back down.
Me: because of you I've had to grow before time, had to deal with crazy ass bitches, threatening texts and every other crazy b.s and now that I'm here wena you think you can take the easy way out? No honey it doesn't work like that. You are going to come back to me and focus on you and I and those that love us the same way we love them. So Bess you gets to wake up. For my sake ok. Do it for me or else I won't eat and it will suck really bad because you know just how much I love food.
My swestpants felt like I borrowed them from someone. They were baggy in a not so cute and sexy way as they once were. Yep the struggle continues. The man that I love and was willing to come back to South Africa for was lying in a hospital bed in a coma. Marcel warned that it could even be a year before he wakes up. Marcel's wife, an amazing woman by the way. Very chilled and down to earth offered to help me pray for him because sometimes all we need is a little prayer to ask he be brought back to us. She taught me that this might just be a test of faith, funny though because this was really no time for a test of faith. I was holding on to the memories he and I have shared and the little hope I had was enough to keep me stable. I'm scared but at the same time I hate seeing him suffer. Why do I love this man so much.
.
.
-Amahle
The operation went successfully thanks to Marcel. I really don't know where we would be without out friends, they were able to move Melo to a hospital in Durban. I don't even know how many papers we had to sign before Marcel could operate on him. It's safe to say that the worst was over and now what's left is for Melo to wake up so we know that everything went well. It's been two days now since the operation but he was still the same. Yaya only left his side to go shower, she literally lived here. Poor thing didn't eat nor did she sleep because she kept hoping he would wake up anytime now but nothing. I had just got to the hospital.
Me: still no change
Yaya: nope
Me: I brought you food
She shook head
Her: I'm not hungry
Me: honey you have to eat. You need your strength
She shook her head.
Me: Yaya look at me baby
She turned to look at me and I cupped her face, she had lost a little weight in this short period of time. Today was her birthday but it didn't feel like it at all. She had bags under her eyes and they were puffy. I understand her pain, take it from someone who's lost a dozen loved ones.
Me: I know you hurting. I know the pain you going through, I'm his mother so I know. You can't punish yourself like this honey, you have to eat, you of all people know your boyfriend and how much he would bite our heads off for allowing you to not eat or rest and today is your birthday, the day you and him first met. Melo is going to wake up all we need to do is be strong for him
Her: we didn't have enough time Mah. We spent half this year apart or fighting. I still need him
Me: I know baby. I know. Part of you needing him should include you eating and resting
Her: I need to feel this. I know he was just as miserable when I was missing
Me: Yaya you need to rest. Your mother is worried about you and everyone else. Just this one day and if there is any change you will be the first to know
Her: what if he wakes up and I'm not here?
Me: I will call you. Now Asemahle is on her way here and she will drive you home ok
She nodded. I hugged her and kissed the top of her head. It's beautiful how much she loves him. It scares me thou but I'm glad my son found someone like her to share his life with and to love him this much and his surname had nothing to do with it. She was so broken and so hurt. I hated seeing her like this, Melo needed to wake up before this child dies. Asemahle walked in.
Her: hey
We turned to her
Me: hey baby.
Her: any change?
Me: sadly no.
She went to stand on the other side of the bed and took his hand into hers.
Her: twin you gotta wake up already. I miss you. I have so much to tell you fuck! Sorry mom. Anyway you owe me big time brother. Big time. I love you okay?!
She said kissing his forehead and then walked over to our side and took Yaya's hand and walked out with her leaving me with a smile. My kids and the love they have for each other. I love that they best friends. I sat where Yaya was sitting and took his cold hand into mine.
Me: oh baby the things you put me through. The things you've put that sweet sweet child through. You owe it to her to wake up. You owe it to her to wake up with your memory intact. I thought I knew love until I saw the things you two are willing to sacrifice for the other. I've been married for 20 years and love like this is none like I have seen no experienced... don't tell your father I said that. It's so funny how your father and I found out about you and your twin. We were in Paris I think, we went to a palm reader slash card reader and she told us that I was pregnant, your father having been the one with the air sickness and stuff and the mood swings didn't buy it... it was my first time even hearing him speak French. I was excited and scared, excited that I was carrying twins but scared that when I had the loop inserted years back I was told that I had a short womb and that could lead to a few minor problems when pregnant. I was scared of giving birth preterm. As painful as it was, you guys made it all worth it. You made me happy, you made me stronger, you thought me how to love, you gave me reason to fight for my life and for you guys in my near death experience. I remember when Yana went off the rails after she found out about her real mother, you were the one who helped me through it Sphen and I knew then and there that the woman you fall in love with would be the luckiest but little did I know that you would be the luckiest to. I remember when you first told me about her, you had this smile I hadn't seen in a very long time, this energy, you were happy and forever in a good mood and when she left for home it was like she left with that part of you. You are keeping that part of her with you wherever you are, she's not happy at all. She's hurting so bad and only you can make her feel better. Just open your eyes, that's all I ask of you