With Pain Come Love 2

Yaya 25

I had just gotten off the plane from Cali. Felt good to be back here after so long ey. I took out my phone and called Melo who said he was out of town and would be back later today, he was attending some meeting in Shepston. He sent me cash to request an uber to drop me off at his apartment and so I headed over to his place. I got in and unlocked the door with my mini suitcase and made my way upstairs. Nothing about his place had changed, it was still as clean as I had left it, same wall colour and just nothing new. I walked into his room dragging my suitcase and opened his door and got in. I closed the door and put my suitcase by the door and my handbag on top of it. When I looked up on the bed was Miranda. The ex that he once told me he still had feelings for. She was wearing Melo's t-shirt which I normally slept in when I was here with black leggings... ok? and then? She was laying on the bed with her face down. My first instinct was to walk out and bang the door loud enough so she wakes up but I thought against it. I walked over to the bed and I found an open bottle of pills in her hand. I looked for a pulse which was faint, I dialled Melo's number-crazy right? What's he going to do?- but it rang and went to voicemail and so I dialled paramedics while shaking her, the phone was ringing when I noticed a pregnancy test on the floor. I picked it up and it had two lines.
//Person: hello?
Me: uhhm sorry. Hi this is Yandiswa and I'm calling to report a suicide attempt. Her pulse is weak and I'm really scared. There's a bottle here. Please just hurry
Her: ma'am breathe. Tell me where you are and I will send an ambulance to your place right now
I told her Melo's address and then she told me to try giving her cpr for the time being and then I dropped the call//
Just after I dropped the call I tried doing the best I could but nothing. I was sort of pissed, felt betrayed, hurt, angry, God I was feeling a lot of emotions at once. My phone rang and Melo's picture appeared on the screen. I answered it shaking, I was shaking. Fuck!
//Him: I take it you just got home
I kept quiet not even knowing what to say to him. I thought he was only sleeping with Olona. I know I said I didn't want to know if there were any others but this is beyond me. I'm not cut out of for this!
Him: babe?
I still didn't answer. I suddenly regretted even coming back here.
Him: Mafaku wam
Me: Melokuhle you need to come to Durban now.
Him: ba...
Me: Melokuhle just get your ass here now!
Just then I heard sirens outside. I went downstairs
Him: babe is everything ok?
I was about to respond When there was a knock on the door. I went to open the door
Me: meet me at the hospital.//
I greeted the two guys and told them what I know and then they went upstairs to get her. I told them about the pregnancy, this whole time my phone was ringing and Melo just wouldn't stop calling. I told them that I would follow behind them. When they were gone I slid down the door and looked at the test. Why? After everything. Melo is testing my limits to see what it will take to break me. And he's won. I got up and called Siya asking him to drive me to the hospital and he did asking me dozens of questions which I wouldn't answer. We got to the hospital and I begged him to go back to whatever he was doing before I called him, that alone was an argument but he left. I sat there waiting to hear something. After what seemed like 30 minutes a doctor came and told me that she was ok but she lost the baby and that she would call me if she woke up. I just sat there waiting for Melokuhle to rock up, nigga showed up after 2 hours or so.
Him: hey b...
I slapped him so hard he couldn't believe it.
Him: Maf...
I slapped him again. He was about to talk when I tried to slap him again but he held my hands. I was so mad at him, I wanted to him until the anger and hurt and pain in me was transferred to him.
Him: Yandiswa why are we here? Talk to me please.
Me: I don't know whether to congratulate you or offer you my condolences, or both.
He let go of my hands gently
Me: I'm done Melokuhle. I just... I just can't do this anymore
Tears threatened my eyes. So many times we've been taught to "nyamezela", a concept I am yet to learn probably. I mean this concept has tied so many woman into loveless marriages or relationships and has even killed some of them all in the name of this one word that holds so much. Why should one stay and bare so much? I don't get it really
Him: Yaya
He tried to touch me. I moved back
Me: don't you dare fucking touch me.
Him: Yaya...
He whispered coming close to me. I took his hand and placed the test on it then walked, more like ran out of the hospital and requested an uber which was here within a minute. I got in and closed the door only for Melo to open it.
Me: Melokuhle
Him: Yandiswa what's the meaning of this?
Me: Miranda needs you. Please drive
Him: you not going anywhere Yandiswa. I'll drive her home
He said pulling me out of the car and paying the driver. I stood there in front of him with my arms folded in front of my chest waiting for king Melokuhle Bess to pay the driver and then attend to me. He turned to me about to say something but instead I started hitting him on his chest. I was so mad. I was so hurt. He caged me on his chest as I tried fighting but eventually I gave in. He was apologising this whole time but little did he know that "i'm sorry" doesn't change anything, it doesn't undo the pain, the scar. When I was calm enough he let go of me.
Me: I hate you! God I hate you!
I said moving back. He came closer
Me: don't. Just don't ok!
I said with my hands tryna stop him and he stopped looking at me with teary eyes. Tears kept sliding down my cheeks. My heart was sore. I didn't hate him, stupid right? I mean I should hate him but I can't. I can't bring myself to. I requested an uber again and this time he didn't stop me or the driver. He watched me drive off. I got to his place and took the little things I had in his closet and asked the driver to drive me to my place. When I got there Nita and Ledi were in the lounge watching whatever.
Me: hello babies
I said screaming from behind them and they screamed in excitement jumping up on the couch. I missed them so damn much. We all hugged. The way they jumped on me we all landed on the floor and just cracked up in laughter.
Ledi: why didn't you call me to fetch you
Me: because then you wouldn't be this excited. I missed you guys
I couldn't hold the tears in and neither could they. We spoke everyday buy seeing them was different, Nita had a huge tummy now. So round and cute
Nita: and we missed you too. Gosh thank God you here, maybe Ledi and I can stop arguing about everything
Ledi: you pregnant. You moody
Nita: you on contraceptives. So are you!
Me: oh shut up you too. What did I miss?
We were all on the floor laying with our backs and them cuddling themselves on me. I was home.
Nita: Ledi almost killed Bonke
Me: what?
Ledi: told him the kid wasn't his and that he shoots blanks
Me: Jesus Christ!
Ledi: he got all mad and charged at me so I grabbed a fork on the table and just as I was about to Nita screamed her lungs out making him drop me
Nita: you don't listen
Me: you guys and drama
I said laughing trying to hide my own pain.
Ledi: mami are you ok?
Me: yeah I'm fine. I just missed you guys that's all
Nita: aaah honey. No need to cry
She said wiping my tears and I smiled through them
Me: I can't help it. Lets go out drinking and dancing tonight
Ledi: aaaaaah she's back
She said screaming in excitement. She got up and helped us up
Ledi: my partner in clubbing is back. I've missed your ass
She said pulling me in for a hug
Nita: geeez whatever
We broke the hug
Me: oh right... baby mama alert
She hit me playfully and we all laughed
Ledi: are you still following Lathitha on Insta?
Nita: hayi Naledi!
Me: yeah why?
Ledi: she deserves to know! When last were you in Insta?
Me: 2 days ago
I said with a shrug. We got into my room and I threw my bag on the floor while Ledi out my suitcase on the bed and opened it.
Ledi: check your insta
Me: ok
I sat down on the couch and took my shoes off while logging in on my account. I came across a picture of Lathitha and my father. It was a selfie. It was a disgusting sight
Ledi: you can imagine how shocked I was too
Nita: you don't know when to quit huh? Friend I'm sorry
Me: I was going to see it one way or the other Nita
I kept scrolling and there was a picture of me sleeping on Melo's chest that he had posted this morning with the caption "can't wait to have you in my arms again" with inlove emoticons. The number of likes and comments on it; I couldn't help myself but to view the comments.
Ledi: friend I'm sorry
Me: it's ok friend
I locked my phone and put it down then excused myself for a long bath. I needed real sleep. I got in the bath and just relaxed, well tried to but I couldn't get my mind of what I came home to. I don't get it, why is everything turning upside down in my life here in SA? My father cheating on my step mom with someone as young as me. I got out of the bath when the water was cold and my hands and feet pruny. I dried my body and as I was about to wrap a towel around my body, I thought of what Melo once said and chuckled to myself like a mad person. To think we've only been together for 4 months and already we over. Yes I'm done with him. He's hurt me in ways even Zuko couldn't possibly hurt me. I wrapped the towel and walked out. Ledi was sitting on the bed in front of my open suitcase just going through my clothes.
Her: I'm taking this by the way!
She said referring to my blue low cut jeans that Ashanti had bought me when she went home for a long weekend
Me: Nah fam not those. Those were bought in France specially for me
Her: that's why I'm taking them
Me: see that paper bag?
Her: yes?
Me: that has everything that belongs to you and Nita
Her: and here I was afraid to open it
She took it and started pulling things out one by one. Judging by her face she loved what I had bought which meant I did good. I wore my pjays and then took my phone which had missed calls and texts from Melo and a few other people. I asked Ledi to let me sleep in peace and that later we were going out. She left me calling Ash and Ser informing them of my arrival and they told me to video call them when I'm with Naledi and Anita. I called mom too, I was going home Monday and coming back Wednesday. After that I put my phone on silent and then fell asleep, with the help of Neurofen active. I woke up around 6pm. I went to wash my face and then walked back into my room and found Melo sitting on my bed. Naledi and Anita need to stop letting people into my room without my permission.
Me: what are you doing here?
Him: I just want us to talk... please
Me: no Melokuhle. Talking won't undo this
Him: I know that but can I explain
Me: I don't need an explanation. I think I can read a pregnancy test
Him: Mafaku please
Me: Melokuhle please just leave
His eyes were puffy and showed regret and pain. I wanted to pull him to my size and hug the pain away but I had my own pain. He did this to us. He ruined us. Was it not enough that he cheated on me with two girls... well I only know two, who knows how many were there?
Him: I know there's no justifying this
Me: Melo I'm tired. I don't want to do this. I don't want to talk to you, I don't want your apology and God I don't want to see you!
Melo is nothing but a temptation and I'm scared that my vjayjay won't be as mad as my heart and mind are right now. Hence I was standing far from him. He got up and walked towards me
Me: Melokuhle please just leave!
Him: Mafaku
Me: Melokuhle GET OUT!
I screamed and he looked at me.
Me: just leave
He turned on his heels and walked out. Naledi walked in. Great! Just great! I just sank to the floor sliding down on my bathroom door. She walked over to me and pulled me into her arms.
Her: what happened?
Me: I thought I could do it. I thought I could love him to make him change his old ways. I thought I was enough. What did I not so for him huh? I forgave him when he was wrong. I did everything I could and more but still. He went on and made her pregnant but that's not even half of it, he led her to suicide too. She killed her baby because of him
Her: honey you didn't do anything wrong. He did. You did your best and for him to not see that and appreciate you for it, it's all on him and not you. It's not you thats wrong, it's him
I just sobbed in her chest and she brushed my back. Why did it hurt this much? Is this what happens when you love someone? Giving them the power to hurt you this much? Make you cry this much? Surely this can't be love? Right? I mean I'm a fool for loving him still. I should hate him with a passion right now but who the hell am I kidding? Melo has my heart on the palm of his hand and he just keeps crushing it and I let him.