The Psychopath | 18+

32. Life

You'll see more of Eros's side of the story from now time...

Eros POV (Warning ⚠️ Sui@ide attempt)
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I never thought I'd see my fall, though I knew I wasn't invincible.

My demons took over and I let them.. we were one, for so long I fought them I told them to leave me alone and to let me live, just leave me be but they wouldn't they would remind me that I was different, that I would never love or ever be loved.

They would bring up intrusive thoughts in my head and this was the one time I let them take over, the police was knocking on my door but I was too busy bleeding out in a tub of water to care.

The water was stained red by now and the slits in my wrist and ankles no longer burned, they were numb just like my emotions, I felt nothing in this moment, cared for nothing, saw nothing, heard nothing.

I was gone and it was the only time I felt happy but my triumph was short lived when they finally tore down the front door and a voice echoed.

Choose life... It was her, Romana her voice had been nagging me every Fucking day.

Please just let me go.. I couldn't move but I was still alive, why was I still alive!! Why wouldn't life just let me leave, why didn't she just let me leave, I didn't want to be here.

Footsteps could be heard running up the stairs and soon the door to my bedroom flew open a the water captured my breath, it finally engulfed me.

Please Eros live, don't go! Her voice got louder.

I took in a huge amount filling up my lungs but still I felt nothing, even when hands yanked my limp body out of the water I felt nothing, I heard nothing, I saw nothing...

Eros! She was crying by now, but why? didn't she hate me, didn't she want to see me fall like the rest of them.

Everything was blurry but I knew I was no longer in the tub, a single tear of frustration slid from my eyelids.

Why couldn't they just let me die, I fully closed my eyes and tried, tried to let my doom take over but it didn't.

Life wanted me to see my own downfall, I saw as they sped down the highway to the hospital and rushed through the emergency doors.

I saw myself lying on the bed as they hooked me up to all sorts of machines.

Eros please come back! Why couldn't she leave me alone and let me be. I ignored her voice and watched.

I was lifeless on the bed and nurses and doctors worked tirelessly on me, they shocked me, injected me, tore my clothes off, placed a oxygen mask on me but to avail.

Then I heard it, a loud wail down the hall of the busy hospital.

Isabella I immediately recognized the voice, she rushed into the room and tried to get ahold of me but the doctors and nurses held her back, something tugged at my heart when I realized I couldn't reach out to her, I couldn't tell her it's okay.

She would be alone, unhappy, she cried as they shoved her out of the room and all I could do was watch.

Don't cry Isabella, I'm happy.. can't you see, I'm at peace, I accepted my faith I'm one with it, you should be happy too.

You no longer have to care for a delinquent like me, I was always a burden no matter how much money I had.. it didn't fix what was hidden in the closets.

Eros.. I snapped my head around and gasped.

"Mom" she was beautiful, she looked happy and healthy I've never seen my mother like those, worse when she was on her death bed.

She reached out to me with a smile and touch my cheek, her touch was warm, inviting and I wanted to stay in it forever.

"Why did you leave me in this evil world" I cried, I looked down and saw that I had turned into a little boy, the same age when she died.

"My precious boy" she whispered wiping my tears away. "You are so strong" I shook my head.

"No mom, I'm weak I gave up, I can't do this anymore .. please just take me with you" now she shook her head, still smiling softly down on me.

"you deserve to live... You have are stronger than anyone I know, I am proud of you Eros" those words gripped at my heart and I cried out, I reached for her but my hands went through.

"mom!" I yelled as she began to disappear.

"live my child" I ran to her but everything began to turn normal, I was a man again and I sucked back by something, I tried to reach out to her as she left.

"mom don't leave me!" Then in a snap of a finger, everything went black and silent. I could see nothing, hear nothing, say nothing, did I make it back? Was I dead?

The faint sound of a monitor beeping grabbed my attentions and in a far corner illuminated by one light was my lying form, someone hunched over me crying.

I began to slowly walk over, my massive frame lay sprawled out on the hospital bed, tubes were everywhere, I had so many IVs it was hard to count.

I snapped my head up at the faint cry, they were saying something.

"Please come back, please it's all my fault I'm sorry" Romana?

"Come back and I'll make everything right I promise... Don't leave m Eros" she held onto my hand as she cried, I wanted to touch her but I couldn't.

"Say something!" She yelled, I swallowed a lump that had form in my throat. I sighed to myself and a hearty chuckle left my lips.

Ironic, they wanted me to live, everybody wanted me to live but couldn't give me life, weren't they selfish?

Life could be cruel isn't she, let the living die but the dead live, metaphorically speaking; I was dead inside yet I was gifted with life.

However, I took it for granted, I wanted to change lives but I thought myself incapable. With a sigh I turned and walked away.

Maybe, just maybe if I got a second chance I'd make things right.

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I cried making this chapter..

I have a son and it's scary thinking about him being and growing up in this cruel world, where humans scorn you for being different. Sometimes I wished he stayed inside my tummy forever where I could protect him.

Unedited.