The Psychopath | 18+

39. Hurting

Eros POV
_________________________________________________

I should have stayed away when I had the chance, now I'm sitting here in my car hurting as they'd call it, outside my psychiatrist office conflicted.

All these new feelings and experiences were coming down on me like wild fire, they burned and I didn't know how to handle it.

Romana stirred things inside of me that I've never felt before and it was scary as shit and worst of all she told me that she loved me.

She can't love someone like me, I would ruin her break her heart and feel nothing. She deserves better and I wasn't better, far from it. These new medicines were helping me but not in ways that I was used to, it made me feel light; no voices, no blank feeling all the time.

I actually felt alive but being alive meant, emotions and emotions can sometimes do you more harm than good.

I thought about the job offer and how because of yesterday I'm not sure she would still want it but the offer would still stand, she will always have a place in my company. An as I want to deny it I can't, she is indeed a great journalist and Scottsdale was a fool to turn her away.

I had lots on my plate also, even though Veronica and Taylor were behind bars, her son Zues was still out and about and if he has my blood running through him I knew he would be plotting a revenge, Adrianna was also missing as soon as that story went live she disappeared.

With money my brother paid her with I assume, she probably bought a new life, I'd find her. Eventually, but for now I was taking things easy.

I decided to stop sulking and get out of the car for my appointment, I walked up the familiar steps and pressed the button to Mr. Douglas's house, he always wants me to do my sessions in his home. I didn't question him about as it was comfortable for me, his tall frame came into view as he approached the door, he spotted me and a friendly smile took over his face.

"Ah, Mr. Des'aire good to have you back" he said opening up the door, I stepped in and pressed a tight lip smile across my face.

"You too Douglas" he gestured for us to head to his living room where we both took seats facing each other.

"I would offer you something more to drink but the wife isn't back from grocery shopping yet" he said placing a small glass on the table beside a flask of water.

I waved him off and sat back comfortably in the chair, "it's fine, " he nodded and took up his note book.

"so how are you?" He began, I shrugged looking through his floor to ceiling glass that exposed his backyard, a dog was running around playing with a small ball, I should get a dog someday.

"nothing new" he placed the pen down on the notebook and waited for me to look back at him.

"I would have believed you if I wasn't your psychiatrist" he said, I raised an inquisitive brow at him.

"So your saying I'm a liar?" He placed his hand on the back of his seat and maintained his friendly mannerism.

"I'm saying, this is a safe space and your free to express your self" I gave a soft sigh as I turned my gaze back to the dog playing outside.

Maybe I should be more open, I did came knocking on his office door seeking help, then it hit me, the reason I sought help in the first place was to be right for Romana and I was slowly going back on my word.

"There is this girl.." I began a little nervous, I glanced back at Douglas for a reaction but he was just listening intently.

"She is beautiful, head strong, she pursues me even though she knows what I am, no matter how much I hurt her or turn her away she keeps coming back.. it aggravates me to no end because- (sigh) because I can't be who she wants me to be"

"And who do you think she wants you to be?" He asked, I thought about it and realized I didn't have an answer for that.

"it's okay to let control go a little bit, I am no different from you Eros and I have a wonderful marriage and three beautiful kids," I looked up at him with creased brows.

"Your a psychopath? But how?" I did not know this, he smirked and took up his glass of water to take a sip.

"psychopathy may hinder you from doing some everyday tasks but it does not define who you want to be, I was in your shoes, fighting myself and fighting against the nature of things until I met my wife... She saved me, she never told me to be someone else, she told me to embrace who I am and learn to control it"

Wow that is powerful, I nodded as I listened to him, he reached forward and touched my hand, I allowed it and he knew of the discomfort but it was his way of breaking the ice of embracing who I am and not fighting against nature.

"The control is in your hands Eros not your disorders, sometimes the scariest things are the best things because they force us out of our comfort zone" I looked at him with a hint of defiance a last resort to push him over the edge and to disagree with his nonsense.

"What if I do not want to come out of my confront zone" he smiled warmly at me again, there was no malice in his eyes and he allowed his emotions to surface something I have never been able to do.

He let go of my hand and leaned in his chair "then all of this is just a waste and you will never know how strong you can really become, you give the controls back to your disorders" I remained silent as his words sunk into me, I don't know if he is right but I know that I may be willing to try.

"today was alot, reflect and we'll pick up some other time" we stood and shook hands "thanks" he nodded with that same warmth and led me to the front door.

I walked back to my car just in time to hear my phone ringing on the dash, I went in and picked it up but creased my brows when I saw that it was a private number.

I didn't know what prompt me to answer it because I normally ignore private calls but I picked up this one and the voice on the other made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

"Brother!" He drawled happily, I knew it would come sooner than later just not so soon and his tone of voice confirmed that he was up to no good.

"What do you want Zues?" I growled, he chuckled darkly.

"Oh Eros don't be so sour, I have a gift for you, you should be excited!" I gritted my teeth and squeezed the steering wheel.

"What did you do?" I barked getting agitated.

"Meet me at our old home and you'll find out" I pressed the phone to my ear from anger almost breaking it.

"Go fuck yourself" I gritted out only to be met with his annoying chuckle again.

"Let's give you some. Motivation" what? I heard shuffling in the back ground and then an ear curdling scream that made my stomach drop.

"EROS!! HELP ME!!"

"ROMANA!" I yelled as if she could hear me, I was seeing red.

"Don't you Fucking touch her!!" I yelled out, panic began to set in and I was already starting the car.

"Old house, now or she dies" he ordered the  hung up before I could even get another word out.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" I yelled slamming my hands on the steering wheel before putting it into drive and speeding off.

I quickly dialed the only man I knew that could help me and pressed the phone to my eat, I was shaking like a leaf from anxiety because I didn't know what Zues was capable of.

"Eros?" Came his gruff voice and slight relief washed over me.

"Dextrose I need your help, I'll meet you at the farm house"

_________________________________________________

Unedited