The Falcon and Winter Soldier

I Wish...

//SMUT WARNING//

Deception. An Outrage. Disgrace. These were the words Sam Wilson attributed to himself in private, because that's what he was. He was meant to be Paul and Darlene's good boy, but he wasn't. No, Sam was just some asshole who couldn't stop sleeping with her sister's husband. No matter how hard he tried.

*Contains Cheating.

Sam slammed his hand over his phone screen blindly tapping around for the snooze button. The offending noise ceased, and Sam turned over with a groan, turning his back on his alarm. Outside cars drove through the streets with the early risers, already going about their days. Through his open window he heard the bell of the 24-hour coffee house go over and over again, a sound that now haunted his dreams. Keeping his eyes closed, he reached out towards the other side of the bed only to find cold crumpled sheets in place of a warm body. Sam pouted and sighed, reluctantly opening his eyes, wishing it wasn't true. But it was. The other side of the bed was empty, and he was alone.

Putting aside his jealousy for the person who did get to share Bucky's bed, Sam pulled himself from the warmth after his snooze time was over. He started the shower running and stretched in front of the mirror enjoying the way his joints popped and the way his muscles felt. He smiled feeling an ache in his lower back and ass, remembering the night before, how it ended like most nights he spent with Bucky. Last night was game night, which Bucky came over for every week accompanied by a couple of sixpacks of beer and a large pizza from the place down the street. It was all part of their regular routine they had. A routine that let them know precisely how much time they got to spend together away from prying eyes. Eyes that, if they knew the truth, would scowl with disgust at both of them.

Sam wasn't a good guy. No, he was far from a saint and a long way from being anything remotely 'good'. That didn't stop people from thinking he was though. But if they knew the truth. If they knew who he went to bed with? Then the people of Delacroix, Louisiana would have opinions about one Samuel Thomas Wilson. Paul and Darlene's good boy. The guy who was sleeping with his sister's husband.

Which was why he knew how important it was that people never found out. He knew he could never rock the boat, no matter how jealous he got. He had to think about his sister and his nephews. Sarah. God how he wished he wasn't doing this to Sarah. Or Cass. Or AJ. They didn't deserve the scrutiny that would undoubtedly come their way if they were ever found out. But why did it have to be Bucky that they both fell in love with? He stepped into the steamy shower and thought, not for the first time, how they all ended up in this mess.

Sam had met Bucky first.

Bucky had been new in town, fresh out of the US army and had come to the VA where Sam worked. Sam wasn't his counsellor, and they were never in a group together due to their conflicting schedules, so Sam hadn't thought too much of it when Bucky had asked him out for drinks. The two of them had a good time together, though they weren't serious. Sam wondered if things would have played out differently if he hadn't gotten a call from Mr Rogers, his elderly neighbour from when he had gone to college for his counselling qualification in Brooklyn. Mr Rogers and his wife Ms Carter owned the building where they lived and rented out the upstairs apartment. Their asking price was affordable, and Sam had gotten on well with the two of them, often helping them around the house or doing grocery runs when they weren't able to make it to the store due to the weather. Mr Rogers and Ms Carter didn't have any children. So when his wife passed away, Mr Rogers called the only person he had left who he thought of as family to ask for help planning the funeral and sorting out his and Ms Carter's affairs.

Sam had left Delacroix and he had left Bucky. He wouldn't see either of them for a year and a half until Mr Rogers passed away. The man had struggled after losing his wife and Sam knew he was the closest thing to family the man had. So he stayed, he looked after him and he stayed away from home.