Chapter 66: Losing Sense

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Playlist for This Chapter: Tightrope by the Score, The Great War by Taylor Swift.

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- N I C H O L A S - A C E - K I N G -

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- N I C H O L A S - A C E - K I N G -

When my eyes opened, I wasn't in the hospital. I realised this stared at the familiar ceiling before finally willing myself to getting up when the weight of it all crashed on me.

She might be gone tomorrow. Forever.

It was night time as I walked to the small refrigerator in the room and pulled out all the strongest drink I could find and sat on the floor, leaning against the side of the bed and took a long swig from the bottle.

I drank, and drank, and drank until I didn't remember my own name, and hopefully forgot everything that happened, but drinking only made it worse.

I still remembered her. I remember her name, her face, her touches, her kisses, her scent, every fucking thing was embedded into my mind as if she had carved herself into me, making every breath that I took without her by side physically painful.

I closed my eyes as the hot tears fell down my cheeks and threw the bottle on the wall as it shattered and fell to the floor before glancing down at my bloody hands with bitterness. 

Her scent still lingered in the air, and I could still feel her soft lips on mine, her dainty fingers running down my chest, her hands in my hair, her soft smile as she kissed me.

Every fucking thing was branded into my brain.

I went to the bathroom, standing in the shower with my clothes still on as the water dripped down my body.

Red water pooled around my feet as her blood washed away from my hands and my clothes as I let it all out, not once stopping as all the pent up emotion crashed over me in waves. 

I didn't shed a tear at my father's funeral, or at my mother's, or at my sister's. But I couldn't stop now, and I wouldn't be able to stop it any more.

It was like all the emotions over the years released now and a dam had been broken which wasn't stopping any time soon.

I changed, wore my black suit and lit a cigarette, inhaling deeply till my eyes watered and I started a coughing fit and stumbled, holding onto the balcony railing as my heavy eyes went over the various guard posted around my estate's grounds.

I slid down onto the floor with my head in my hands, the cigarette long forgotten as it burned somewhere on the ground when the door to my room opened and someone came rushing in.

"My boy, it'll be alright. Everything will be fine. Don't worry, she'll be back in no time." I heard Richard's voice trying to comfort me as he helped me up to stand when I grabbed my keys and drove off into the night.

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