I went back and forth on sharing anything going on in my life rn just bc things are so uncertain at the moment but I want to document this time in my life I won't go into to too much detail bc again it's uncertain but recently jill and I broke our friendship yet again this time for good really I Mean it for good I don't see us getting back together we just don't fit anymore lately I can't help but look back on the many pictures and videos I have of our just about 7 years of friendship so many memories that are important to me yet seem insignificant to her given she's taken down videos she had of us pictures even while she speaks of few good moments majority of the videos she spoke of 9n her channel were her defending herself from words I said speaking my truth and feelings on situations that we had . I know its her right to do so given it's her channel and those videos are probably better left off the internet bit most of my videos on my channel of are special memories I guess I feel like shes trying to make it seem like we were never friends just me make assumptions but maybe I should just let it go it just feels like she didn't want the relationship like she felt she was babysitting me refusing to tske more then one photo memories can be one photo but the more photos the more of the story gets shown it always bugged me this time around I feel a little hallow I care bit im also like why am I fighting dealing with these feelings that she can just delete and erase from her life her memories there are things I feel like she and u bummed heads on there were several chances to leave I believe I left 1 time sje had her reasons bit I had chances after she did things I still struggle to believe just happend our communication qas little to nothing sje never wanted to talk me im a fixer situation Hits I wanna fix it talk it our I stand by that the min I said something was wrong or accused her of something she jumped to defend herself not see why the situation would hsve bothered me I feel like she never understood my side always on her own defense bc god for bid anyone thoght any more bad of her judt my opinion I have done bad too but we just grew out of eachother only way I can put it nicely I will admit work a lot rn and it definitely kept my focus but I feel I tried more then she did and it wasn't recognized I tried in my eyes she dident I don't want to share this all on YouTube anymore its not right Its probably better were not in eachothers life's I miss the old times lucky I have the memories to look back on but it's bitter sweet even the ones rhst dident make it to YouTube but maybe someday they will
Also things have been complicated a lot os gonig on rn but the amount of one on one time lovey and I have had the last 2 weeks has been wonderful our little pup Zeus is getting so big he's a happy loving boy who needs a little mire training before we move on to a new chapter in all of our life's and Annie is still her sweet fistey self job wise things are great working a 9-5 working 5 days a week with 2 days off has been a dream especially with the clients who love me as much as I love them and live around me no buses needed it's truly a blessing im very grateful
I'm taking it a day at a time and I do have moments where it bums me out to think of rhe past its hard but remembering the good times helps for now thsts all when life changes more I'll update but for now I am happy and busy and feel blessed
