Shawn Mendes Imagines

Fighting

A/N I'm scared to write this tbh

Shawn's POV

It was almost two A.M. when I turned to face her in the bed. She was staring up at the ceiling, her temples scarred with dried tears. I wanted to feel something towards her... pity, love, anything but what I was feeling. But for the first time ever, I didn't want to just wrap my arms around her and hold her until the sun comes up.

She was always mine, but today it didn't feel like it, and just the thought of that was what sent me spiraling into the state of anger I'm in. I couldn't look at her without feeling disgust.

"I can't believe you would do this to me. You knew that Cam and I have never gotten along in the way that we should. You knew that I hated the way he would look at you. The way he would braid your hair, and you two would laugh. I felt as if I was never enough for you, Y/N. You knew all of this, and yet you still told me you were in love with me."

"And then," I continue, unable to stop myself, "just when I'm starting to think, maybe I am enough for her, maybe we are enough for each other, you go and do something like this."

Her eyes were starting to well up with tears, but I turn away and blink twice.

"I can't stand that you would treat me like that."

She opens her mouth to say something, but I knew it was just going to be an argument on why she had the right, or how she didn't mean it, and she's so sorry. As sure as I am that some of that is true, I don't want to hear that what she did was okay. I want to be right for once.

"Don't say anything, please," my voice cracks as I stand up, shutting my eyes tightly. I was more hurt than mad until that moment, when the madness got the best of me. I did something really screwed up.

With a tight, clenched fist, I reach out and punch the wall, causing a big fist-sized hole to form there. It wasn't the sense of release I was looking for, but it sure did hurt. I groan at the pain and turn to face her.

"I hate you for this, Y/N. I can't even look at you right now, I don't want to talk to you, I don't want anything to do with you! All these promises we made to each other, and... they've just all gone to waste. Are you even aware of how long it took me to trust you? Can you even comprehend the anxiety I get just from being around people like you, the rich-kid snobs that used to bully me? You finally convinced me you were different, Y/N! But you're not!!"

She jumps up from the bed and runs towards me, stopping with a distance that should've been much longer. She flicks on the lights.

"If you want to punch a wall, fine! But please stop yelling at me, I can't take thi -"

"I'm not going to stop yelling at you until I'm numb, Y/N! I will scream until my voice is done being a voice, until my arms are tired from all these freaking gestures, and I'm passed out on the damn floor, maybe then I'll care what you can take."

But when I see her start to lose focus of everything and just stand there, shaky, hurt, lost.. It suddenly hits me like lightning what I'm saying.

I'm telling her I don't love her all because she hooked up with Cameron.

We're supposed to be one of those couples that can get through anything that stands in their way.

And I do love her. God, I love her. I'm just mad.

Still angry but trying to cope with it, I reach out to rub her temple and apologize, but then something strange happens.

She shields her face with her arms and backs up quickly, a small whimper escaping her mouth.

Then it all sinks in.

"You...you thought I was going to h-hit you?" My voice cracks.

She slowly lets her hands down and stares at me.

"It looked like it. I-I've never seen you so mad before." Her voice was smaller than ever and weak.

I press my lips together and a knot forms in my stomach. "Oh no, Y/N. No. I'm so sorry. I... I would never hurt you. I could never do that."

I walk towards her and tightly wrap my arms around her neck, pressing my fingers into her upper back and sighing into her. By that point, we were both crying.

"Do you hate me, Shawn?" She whispers into my neck.

I quickly shake my head and begin to stroke her hair. "Oh no, baby. Of course not. I'm just upset. I can't ever hate you. I'm sorry that I said I did. I'm so sorry."

She wipes her eyes. "Me too," She says.

I try to smile as much as I can. "I love you, no matter what. We can get past this, it was a mistake. I'm sorry I'm acting like this. Please don't be afraid of me, I'm so sorry, Y/N. I love you so much."

I pull back and try not to break at the sound of her sobbing and clenching the neck of my t-shirt into a ball with her fist as her lips part. It was the saddest thing I've ever heard.

"I love you too," She manages.

A/N

Wow why did I write this. Why. Oh my god.

So I saw Ed Sheeran last night omfg.

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K bye ilysfm :)