She's still standing.

After that Attempt...

Ch. 23
SO....we called up my mom and she came, but she was drunk. And she probably wouldn't remember any of this. The doctors called the police and they took her to the jail over night. She left in the morning, when she was sober.

I sat in the back of Noah's car curled up in a ball.

"I'm sorry Noah." I said picking up my head.

"No, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I knew I should have just stayed home with you." Noah said looking in the mirror at me.

"No, I'm the one who needs to apologize. I'm the one who almost killed myself. It would've hurt you more than anyone else." I said climbing into the front seat at a red light.

"Just take a rest. The doctor said you might have a few suicidal feeling left for a few more hours." Said Noah putting my chair back.

"Can I tell you something?" I said to Noah closing my eyes.

"Of course. Anything." He said.

"I love you Noah." I said.

"I love you too Shailey!" Said Noah.

I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

"Alright" said Noah "I liked that."

I giggled and smiled.
"I'm sorry again." I said.

"I know. It's okay. I'm just glad I saved you." He said rubbing my hand.

"I'm not glad you saved me. I wanted to die." I said.

"Shailey, I know people have been mean to you, and said horrible, horrible things about you and done horrible things. But I love you and I won't and cannot let you die. NEVER EVER!" He said gripping my hand even tighter.

He pulled into my driveway (I feel like he does this a lot.)

"I guess I could try to stand up to Celia and Brian." I said.

"Great!" Said Noah. "How about Monday?"

"No! I'm not going to school on Monday or for a while." I said. "I'm still not sure breathing is a good option for me. I'm going to try to stand up for myself in, probably a month."

"But I thought you were feeling better." Noah said.

"Did you not hear me before, I'm not sure I should be here right now." I said.

We were still sitting in the driveway.

"But you should be here." Noah said.

"No I shouldn't. I hate myself. And everyone else hates me." I said.

"I'm not everyone though." Said Noah feeling heartbroken.

"I know You're not. I'm saying the majority of people do." I said.

Noah took out his phone then quickly shut it off.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Nothing, it was nothing." Said Noah quickly.

I knew he was lying.

"What was on the phone Noah!?! Tell me, tell me now!!!" I yelled.

"I can't Shailey. You're not one hundred percent yet and I don't wanna make it worse. You just tried to kill yourself two hours ago." Noah said.

"I know that!!! Why does everyone keep saying that?!? Don't you think I know!?! God!" I said. I was freaking out. "Ugh. I hate myself. Now I'm yelling at the one I love the most."

"Shailey, it's okay. I understand." Said Noah.

"No, it's not okay. I'm hurting you more than myself." I said. "I can't bare to see you like this."

"I can't bare to see YOU like this. Shailey, I know you don't wanna hear this, but you were the one who almost committed suicide." Said Noah.

"I know I know." I said.

I started to cry.

My hand still locked in Noah's, I laid down and fell asleep. And Noah fell asleep in his seat, right next to me.