She's still standing.

Lost & Not Found

yes, i dropped off the face of the earth and yes this book is pretty much dead, but hey the world still goes on.
—
ch. 56

"i'm sorry about what happened to you." jenna randomly blurted out.

i almost shit my pants. i froze. i didn't know what to say. all i managed was "what?"

"you know, all the bullying and shit. it wasn't cool." she looked genuinely sorry, like it was her fault.

"it's not your fault. you didn't do it." i just looked off into the distance.

"i should've done something, i..i should've said something." she looked as if she was going to cry. "..and i'm sorry for not doing that."

now i felt bad for her, she shouldn't feel like this. it's not her fault that people are shitty. she was a great person, and didn't deserve to have this weighing her down.

"jenna, don't feel bad, really. i'm fine. everything is better now." i reassured her. but i didn't even know if i was telling the truth.

"i'm so glad for that, shailey." she tried to smile. and i smiled back at her.

--

it was now 6.30 and i still didn't know where noah was, so i decided to text him.

princess shay ❤: where are you?
delivered 6.30 pm.

i looked over by the keg and celia was gone, she must've gone off with that girl.

jenna was still sitting by me, though. that was nice of her.

"do you think noah's okay?" i questioned  causing her to look up from her phone.

"where is he?" she clicked her phone off.

"he went to get me water, but that was almost 45 minutes ago." i said my voice sounding worried. "i tried texting, but no response."

she was calm. "i'm sure he's just talking to people and got distracted, he's got a lot of friends." she reminded me. i just shrugged, and she noticed how worried i'd gotten. "do you want to go find him?" she asked standing up. i nodded. i followed jenna throughout the party, but we didn't find noah anywhere. i tried texting him again, but no answer.

"maybe he's with that other girl you came with?" jenna suggested while we were standing in the middle of the crowded living room.

i just shook my head "i don't think so, they don't really like each other..." i frowned.

it was 6.55 now, and jenna and i were back outside. i was getting very worried.  i tried calling celia and jenna was texting and calling noah, too.

celia picked up on the second ring.

"hello?" she sounded out of breath.

"have you seen noah?" my voice was shaky.

"no, i've been with sarah this whole time. and sorry about ditching you. but no, sorry i haven't seen noah."

"thanks though." i muttered before hanging up.

jenna and i both looked at each with nervous eyes. we both sighed and started searching for him again.

xxxxx
ummm so yeah sorry for not updating for a while. y'all are probably used to this sorry sorry. i failed at that whole "posting two times a month" thing. my bad.

anyway the song at the top "cry baby" by demi lovato is fucking golden. i love her whole album "tell me you love me" and i love her so much. i recommend listening to every song cuz they're all fucking amazing.

i miss tyler and josh a lot i hope they come back soon, but they deserve a long break. quality music takes time.
at least brendon is alive tho ahah

okay that's it. sorry again guys im a terrible writer & publisher sorry

stay safe, stay alive, and stay you.
-T