She's still standing.

Bisexual Bestie

a/n last long chapter [i think]

ch. 53

we ended up back at my house. when i opened the door i prayed to god that no one was home. and my prayer was answered. mom left a note that she was grocery shopping and summer had gone off to cheer practice. celia and i headed up to my room, like old times. i sat on the bean bag , and she sat on the bed, like old times.

"so what have you been up to?" i asked her to fill the silence.

"um you know, same old same old." she shrugged.

i raised an eyebrow "which is?" i questioned further.

"you know, gymnastics practice like everyday, and besides that doing absolutely nothing but be alone because everyone hates me." she rested her back on the headboard of my bed.

"what do you mean 'everyone hates you'?" i leaned forward on the bean bag.

"i have no friends, shailey!" she blurted out, throwing her hands in the air.

"you have me." i said quietly, almost a whisper.

"yeah. i know. thanks." she said almost sarcastically.

i didn't understand, i thought she wanted to be friends again. she was acting strange. something else was going on with her.

"are you okay?" i said walking over to the bed to sit next to her. she shook her head. i just sat there and stared at her. this brought back too many familiar memories. "what happened?"

"remember in 7th grade when i told you i didn't know my sexuality?" she said as i tried to remember that day, which i did.

"mhm. i remember. you thought you were bisexual, but weren't sure. in 8th grade you then told me you were straight." i remembered.

"well yeah, i've been thinking about it more. i originally thought i was straight, but after what happened with brian, i don't know again."

"what does brian have to do with any of this?" i rolled my eyes.

"he doesn't. it's what happened after." she stated, her eyes moving all around the room, looking at everything but me.

"yeah?" i said, which told her i wanted to know.

"there was this girl, she comforted me for a week of so, i was kind of falling for her.." she trailed "..but then she told me brian sent her, to make sure i wouldn't tell anyone about what happened, or worse things would happen to me."

"oh." i said quietly.

"so i didn't tell anyone, but he told everyone lies. how i treated him terrible and cheated on him and shit like that. and of course everyone believed him, and now everyone hates me for "cheating on" the star quarterback & varsity basketball team captain." tears formed in her eyes.

"i'm so sorry celia." i wrapped her in a hug.

"don't be, really, i kinda deserve it." i felt a tear drop through my shirt. i pulled back from the hug.

"no one deserves that." i looked her in the eyes. she kept her hand on my shoulder, but i took mine off of hers. her eyes flicked from my eyes to my lips, and she pulled me in. our lips crashed together, her hand came up to my neck as she deepened the kiss. and i didn't hate it, it felt really nice. i didn't pull away from it, i just let it happen. her eyes were closed, so i slowly closed mine.
god, i hated myself. here i was cheating on my perfect boyfriend. i think i kissed her back to forget how much i hated myself. or maybe i kissed her back because i wanted to. either way, it didn't make me forget how horrible i am, it made me hate myself so much more.