She's still standing.

The Truth Revealed

Chapter 50

he didn't say anything again, just motioned for me to sit next to him.

"are we going to have an actual conversation now?" i said rolling my eyes.

noah exhaled loudly and then turned to me. "shailey, i don't know how to say this, so i'll just say it; i haven't been honest with you, this whole time we've been together."

my mind was instantly racing. what was he lying to me about? how could he lie to me? how could he keep secrets from me?

i mean, i didn't tell him about what happened the first day i was put into the hospital, but it's for his own good. i guess i can't be mad at  him, if this is for my own good at least.

"shailey, i" he stopped then started again. "shay, do you know where we are?" he questioned. we were sitting on rocks at a park by a pond. the water reflected the 2:30 pm sunlight. and the trees were slightly blowing from the wind.

"yeah noah, we're at the park." i said breathing heavily after 'noah'.

"actually, this is the first place we went together, besides school. i remember that day, every detail: what you were wearing, what your hair looked like, even what color your nails were painted; i remember it." he said reaching for my hand that was placed in my lap. he continued speaking again after taking my hand "this was one of the best and saddest days of my life. the best because i got to hang out with you and get to know you. but the saddest because i found out that you, the beautiful, lovely, and perfect Shailey Elizabeth self-harmed. and i've never felt more heartbroken than in that moment."

he was turned to me. and i turned to him.
"i'm sorry." i whispered. he took his hand, placed it under my chin and lifted my head up. he placed a kiss on my forehead then brought me in for a hug, i buried my head in his neck. "i'm sorry noah, so sorry. i mean thank you, but i'm sorry." i pleaded, pulling out of the hug.

"shhh shailey, please. don't apologize. let me finish." he looked up to the sky now, biting his lip. "this was the day i realized i wanted you in my life forever. you were broken, but still had the ability to make my life better, and i didn't want to let you go. and i love you shailey, i do, i fucking love you with all that i am and all that i have."

tears came rolling down my cheek and onto my lips. the salty taste tickled my tongue as i licked them away. but i didn't say anything, because he kept talking to me.

"and now that i've said that, i have to say this" his face grew sad and worried "i haven't been completely honest with you."

he stopped to let me talk and gather that information.

"i love you too noah, with all my heart, soul, and mind. also, thank you for sticking with me, it means so much. and for remembering ever detail from that day, even the bad ones. just thank you. for everything you are to me and for everything you do for me. i love you, so damn much." we stared at each other, he leaned in, then so did i. he kissed me passionately and lovingly. he pulled away and the feeling of his lips lingered on mine. "tell me." i said my eyes still closed and my forehead pressed against his "tell me what you haven't told me, please."

he breathed out heavily, i opened my eyes, then he closed his beautiful brown eyes that matched mine. "it was 4 years ago, i started smoking. it started with cigarettes and about a year after that i moved to weed. i got it from a friend, i guess that's not important though." he tried to laugh, but it was dry. his gaze was on the grass now.

"so you smoke weed?" i chimed in. i was very confused as to what he was trying to tell me.

"not anymore, i wasn't finished telling the story." he looked at me.

i didn't say anything, just gave him a 'sorry for interrupting look' and let him continue.

"so, sophomore year was when i decided i didn't want to live like that anymore. i was always out getting high, or drunk; even both sometimes. i would come home and my mom would be so worried and the look on her face, god, i will never forget it, ever. and i lied to her and said i wasn't smoking or drinking, even though she smelled it all over me and saw it in my eyes. i told her i'd stop, but each time i came home she knew i had lied to her the day before. until one day, i got so drunk i ended up passing out in the middle of the street while walking home. i woke up in the hospital; i don't know how i got there or who brought me but that's when i realized just how scary this all was, and that i could've died. i woke up in the hospital to that look on my mothers face again except a thousand times worse. i vowed right then that i would get help, for my mom." he paused now. he just looked at me, and i at him. so many thoughts ran through my head. i finally said something,

"god, Noah, i'm glad you're alive."

xxxxx

sorry i haven't updated in a while. i've been having writers block for a long time and i'm trying to write more.

idk if anyone is still enjoying this book, but if you are thank you so much.

sorry again.

-T

ps - this twenty øne piløts new album/ song drama is stressing me out so much. i literally have no idea what's going on. i still love them tho.

|-/ stay alive.

pps - i got the spacing right the first try and i feel very accomplished
okay bye