Her lips; an ART

Chapter 29

Yvaine's POV

I got a heavy fight with Kale last week, ever since that day we became aloof and very much not ourselves even when we're together. I honestly don't know why we suddenly became this intense and harsh. She never spoke to me like that.... a little bit of shouting and careless words were thrown to me last week. I've thrown words that pained her for sure but I don't think I still deserve this kind of treatment.

I'm selfish and prideful, yes but things are getting tough for me. Hindi ko siya maramdaman. Ni hindi ko alam kung may girlfriend pa ako o wala na. Kale became so distant and all I could do is to wait for her to straight up tell me that she don't want me anymore. Hindi naman yun mahirap diba? I'm sure if she feels nothing she can tell me. Ganun siya ka-honest. I don't want any third party getting involved to this relationship. Puwede naman niya akong hiwalayan ng hindi linoloko. I could take that in but cheating? We don't talk about cheating here, love.

"Hindi mo gagalawin yan?" tanong ni Jill sa pagkain kong inorder namin.

We were out, sa SJ nga sana kami ulit pero wala ako sa mood para mag bar hopping. I just invited him to go out to get some time to think and coordinate with my mind.

Sa totoo lang napapagod na din ako. Napapagod na ako sa ganitong sitwasyon namin. It hasn't been that long. 7 months palang kami pero parang ang hirap na. Alam ko sa sarili kong kahit anong mangyari I would fight for her. Kahit kay dad, sa mga taong matataas ang expectations saakin, sa mundo. Pero will I still choose her even if I'm hurting too? Pain in relationships are inevitable. Pain is somewhat makes a relationship a whole. Without it, maybe you're not loving right.

"Puwedeng dinadasalan ko muna?" mataray na sabi ko.

Jill rolled his eyes, "Magkaaway kayo ni?"

"We're okay," tugon ko.

Sa totoo lang, okay naman talaga kami. It's just that I don't feel any connections with her. Pakiramdam ko may label nalang ako. Naka label nalang saakin na girlfriend niya ako pero wala nang feelings. Aww, fuck! I think I just hurt my own heart.

"Okay pero ganyan ka?" aniya.

"What do you mean?" I curiously asked. Ganito ako? Bakit? Ano bang itsura ko.

"Matamlay ka... you know I've seen Kale going out of their house last night with her bags. May lakad siya? Alam mo?"

Kale told me she's going somewhere. Sa ilocos ata for a dance contest. She updates me but not that often. I mean, I understand pero trabaho ko din bang mag overthink? Sa lahat ng actions niya, sa pagiging cold niya, sa paglimot kung paano makipag communicate saakin, wala ba akong karapatang ioverthink ang mga yun?

"Nabanggit niya saaking may contest daw sila sa ilocos,"

"Akala ko naman hindi mo alam,"

I'm just grateful because Kale's honest to me. Or was she? O baka naman hindi ko lang nahuhuli. I had to shrug that thought off. May tiwala ako sakanya. Malaki ang tiwala ko kay Kale and it's painful for me that I had that thought kahit sa ilang segundo lang. Kahit naman sobrang nasasaktan na ako ay ayokong isipin na ganun nga. Kale never lied to me or even tried lying to me. We were honest with each other and I hope it stays that way until the end.

Pagkauwi namin sa bahay ay dumiretso na ako sa kuwarto ko para makapaglinis ng katawan at makapag handa na sa pagtulog. Hindi ko pa ulit nabubuksan ang messenger ko but I saw my inbox being bombarded with Kale's messages. I chose to prepare for my bed before reading them.

Nung masiguro kong ayos na ay mabilis akong humiga habang hawak ang phone ko. I've read them one by one. I was quiet the whole time but as soon as I've reached the end, I started to feel dizzy, cold, and in pain.