the various chances

chapter forty one

Jeremy

My whole body was on fire, blood sloshing in every corner of my body putting it on fire. I was feeling both light and heavy at same time. My body was swaying I couldn't see anything yet I see all dark. The noise falling on my ears went to a deafening frequency and stop a moment later. I couldn't use my hands, legs anything to stop myself from swaying. I feel warmth across my abdomen but I couldn't just touch it.

My skin was on fire and melting. I could feel the heat yet was not able to stop it. Everything around me was on fire yet I could not save myself from it. My vision goes dark and dark until black covers all over me. I was standing in the middle of nowhere. I wander around but not able to reach somewhere.

A flash of light falls above my head. I shield my eyes with the back of my hand, squint my eyes to adjust to the sudden light in the dark. "Jeremy", a very familiar voice calls out. I lower my hand down to see Lily walking towards me. I smile, thinking she found me. She steps closer to me but her face said she wasn't pleased after finding me here.

I raise my hand, about to touch her to see if she was real or not when she lifts a hand to my chest and pushes me violently. I trip backwards in water. I close my eyes to brace for the impact. My body cuts through the surface and sinks down. I was drowning in the deeper parts of the water.

My hands felt floppy and weak, too frail to move. I sink and sink deeper until the water starts becoming thicker and thicker that the blue of water turns to darkest of blue, almost closer to black. A light comes from the surface, illuminating the water to softer blue. I watch someone diving towards me. It was Lily.

Lily swims towards me and stops circling her hands in front of me. She swims closer, so much closer that her face was in front of mine. Her lips fall on my forehead; she extends her hand to me. I look down to her hand and place mine in her. She wraps her fingers around me, tightens her hold and starts swimming for surface.

My face cuts the surface of the water only to feel an electric shock run through my body. My eyes shut tight to brace for the impact again and it comes in bolts of electricity. Every nerve was feeling the aftereffects of the shock, and it happens again. It felt like someone picked me up only to throw me into a solid brick wall.

My bones were heavy, muscles weak and nerves worn out, my chest had a huge boulder placed on it. I was unable to breath, gasping for air. My throat was dry; I could taste acid in my mouth. I forcefully open my eyes only to be met with darkness again.

I open my eyes and sit back straight on the bed. The clock had struck 7 am. Today was the day. The day where all my anxiety was going to waft up in air and I was going to call a truce with my heart and mind for my own mental sanity. Cutting it to shit, I was going to ask Lizzie if she'd like to be my girlfriend and confess my feelings for her.

Hopefully I look good because the little more than hour of sleep I had was not going to help today's prospect. I still had 3-4 hours before I head to school for our graduation ceremony. It was too much to think that a month or so later we were going to be adults, pick up a course, and stick to it in some college apart from each other.

I hop down from my bed, change in my workout clothes and head down for my morning run. The kitchen lights were on meaning someone was up early; usually I was the alarm clock of the home after Mom. I slowly walk ahead to see Julie standing in front of the refrigerator and fishing out something from it.

"Julie?" I say after slowly sneaking towards her. She startles and jumps, almost bumping into the door of refrigerator. "God, Jar Jar" –she says placing a hand on her chest- "you scared me." I shrug, walk past her to get myself a glass, "what are you doing up early?" I ask.