My Saving Grace

Why Is This Happening

well look at that another update. i hope i'm not updating too quickly but here's the next one :)

JOHNS POV

I feel bad for making katy wait on me, especially over those dicks I thought were my friends. I know what they want. They want me to end things with her but that's definitely not going to happen. She's stuck with me until she doesn't want anything to do with me.

Even if she wasn't here I would constantly be calling her to make sure she was okay and I would be even more worried knowing she wasn't here with me but they don't seem to understand that.

I finally reached our hotel room and opened the door with a smile happy to finally spend time with her after the long day I've had, but when I walked in my smile quickly vanished.

"Katy, what's going on?" I asked as I watched her frantically grab her clothes out of drawers and closests and stuffing them into her bags.

She didn't respond or even look at me. She just ran around the room occasionally wiping a tear out of the corner of her eye. She finally had to walk by me to grab one of her shirts when I wrapped my arm around her waist stopping her.

"Katy, what are you doing? Did I do something?" I asked trying to think of anything I could've done to upset her.

"It not you.. " she croaked trying to hold back her tears. "It's me.."

Now I was completely confused "baby what are you talking about?" I asked bringing my other arm to wrap around her as she tried to untangle herself from my arms.

"It's never gonna last with me right? So why stay?" She said letting more tears fall down her face breaking my heart.

That's when I knew she had overheard the conversation. "no no baby no it's not like that.." I whispered kissing her forehead.

She looked down before lifting her eyes to look into mine.. "They don't want me here.."

"fuck them. okay? fuck them. I don't care about any of them, I only care about you. you can't leave yet I need you here you're the only thing keeping me sane right now." I begged placing my forehead against hers as I closed my eyes.

"... no." she whispered and my heart dropped but she kept talking, continuing to crush my heart.

"They were right.. you need to focus. You need to do well this tour, and this is what you love. This is what's meant for you and I'm holding you back." she said breaking away from me and finished packing as I just stood there like a statue.

"Okay... " I agreed. I knew she wasn't going to give in so I might as well let her leave. I'll see her in 3 weeks anyway.

"I'll still call you every night though okay?" I said and she stopped dead in her tracks.

"okay?" I repeated, with worry in my voice.

"We need to end things John.." she cried zipping her bag up and placing it by the door.

"No. No no no no." I laughed shaking my head. "No, I'm not losing you." I said walking over to her and holding her as if i could hold her here forever so she couldn't leave.

"It's what's best. You don't need to worry about me.. or my problems. This isn't your battle to fight, it's mine. I got myself into this mess and it's not fair to you." she said placing her hand on my cheek.

"that's not true!" I screamed making her jump. "I love you! I want to do those things for you, because I love you! I need you katy, don't do this to me.. it'll ruin me." I said honestly already in tears.

"I'm sorry..." she whispered getting ready to turn and leave when in one last attempt I pressed her against the door and kissed her hoping she would change her mind.

She finally broke the kiss and looked down at her feet. "that doesn't change anything John I'm still leaving. Trust me, you'll be happier in the long run." she said giving me a small smile and opened the door.

"baby no please don't do this, I'll do anything okay? anything you want." I said now fully in tears.

Before completely walking out she turned to look at me and ran into my arms to quickly kiss me. "I love you. but you deserve better." She whispered as she pulled away and traced my bottom lip with her thumb before finally leaving.

I stood here in the living area with my hands on my head about ready to rip my hair out. This isn't happening. She can't be ending things. She was the one for me, the one I was supposed to be with forever.

No, I can't let her go. I raced down the stairs hoping she hadn't left yet barging passed people that gave me ungrateful looks. I finally made it outside where it was pouring the rain down and saw her putting her bag in the back of a taxi.

"Katy, stop!" I yelled running to her. "Don't. Don't leave." I pleaded but she still just shook her head no.

"John, n-"

"marry me." I interrupted her. If this was the only way to stop her I'll take it.

"You don't mean that. and you don't want that.. bye John..."

and she left. just like that. she was gone. my whole world had just left in that taxi. I numbly made my way back up to my room and sat on my couch just staring at the blank walls. My life had no meaning now, she just took it all with her. I was currently drenched from the rain but nothing seemed to bother me.

Just then I heard a knock at the door and quickly jumped up to get it hoping it was katy.

"Babe?" I asked excited as I swung the door open but instead I was greeted with the faces of the people who started this whole mess. "um not quite." they laughed

"get away from me." I growled trying to slam the door shut but one of them stopped me and they entered anyway.

"listen we came to apologize..."

"it doesn't matter.. she's gone." I replied putting my head in my hands.

"she left?"

"Yes she left because of you! she overheard everything and left! She's gone!" I screamed as I watched their shocked expressions.

"Well it's probably for the best.. you'll see her soon enough-"

"No I won't because she ended things with me." I cried. None of them have ever seen me cry before, let alone be this upset over a woman and I think they finally realized that they had messed up.

"man, we're sorry we never intended for this to happen..."

"sure you did." I laughed. "This is what you wanted. Now get the hell out of my room. I have the day off now tomorrow so we better get to rehearsing like you all wanted right?" I quipped and stood up storming off into my room leaving them there stunned.

As soon as I entered my room I sent her a text.

"We can work this out. I know we can just come back and we'll talk alright?"

I hit send and waited and waited but she never replied. She did read it though and that's when I knew she was done. We were done.