Love Like Yours 💙 - A Hankcon Story

Chapter 15: Drinking Buddies

^ artist: defensetrain ^

~ after dropping Connor off ~

*Hank's POV*
"Goddammit! I can't believe this shit!" Hitting his wheel in slight frustration, Hank groans. "I'm falling for that fucking android and- its his fault for being so goddamn perfect; but of course he is because thats obviously the fucking point!" Hank rants to himself as he drives to a store he frequents a lot. Arriving and parking the vehicle he lets his head fall forward against his steering wheel; "Like he can help it.." He huffs out. "But I can't deal with this shit." He gets out of the car and enters the store; moments later coming out with a brown bag. He can already hear Connor's complaints as he drives home to once again do something he knew he shouldn't. He knows its cause he cares though.
I must admit its nice having someone actually be concerned for me.
Driving away his mind continues to torment him.
What difference does it make anyways? I'm old, no point in even thinking about it. Its stupid! Besides I'm not gonna take advantage of Connor like that. He could have so many more opportunities with someone much closer to his age. I was prepared to be alone anyways besides Sumo, after everything..
Seeing his house he drives in the yard and parks his car; quickly grabbing the bottle of alcohol and taking it inside. He grunts in frustration when a big dog jumps on him coming in. "AH SUMO GET DOWN! YOU'RE GOOD DOG NOW DOWN!" Hank commanded trying to push him off. Sumo was excited as always to see him but he also seemed to be reacting to the brown paper bag rustling in Hank's hands. He was now nudging it with his nose and slightly started whining. "Ah Jesus Christ not you too! Look I'm not going to get fucking plastered or anything I'm just– I'm just talking to a dog... wow." More fed up he plopped down in his kitchen chair; opening the bottle and drinking in an annoyed gesture.
The more he drank, the more his thoughts of Connor increased but at least were easier to ignore. He also couldn't help but think of the case from earlier today, causing him to take another swig.
That poor fucking kid. How could that prick even? Didn't he realize how fucking lucky he was?! He puts the bottle down angrily causing it to hit loudly against the table. "His child was still in his room; getting to watch fucking cartoons and be a goddamn kid and that piece of shit took that away! Fuck if it's a machine or not– fuck!" Hank expresses in his fits of drunken rage and suddenly begins to choke up. No tears fell yet but he could feel it; he felt so much despair right now. "Give anything to hold my kid again, been able to save his life; at least take his fucking place! Give him a goddamn chance since I already had mine! Yet people like him can just throw their kids away like trash with no fucking care in the world!" His slurred defeated words getting slightly worse after he puts down the bottle again. Tears finally fell from his eyes as he looked at the photo of Cole that Connor had now set up on the table for him; and his heart ached. He just wanted that emptiness to go away and now being filled with this unrequited feeling knowing it won't go away either, fucking sucks. He cursed himself as the time drifted away, he knew he'd be getting a text soon and that he should stop. He didn't want to disappoint or worry Connor. But a part of him also didn't want Connor to care.
Why do you give a shit about me so much? What makes me so goddamn worthy? I can't so much take care of myself much less be something better for anyone else. Its pathetic.
Hank took another drink and looked at the time, reading 6:10 pm. He sighed loudly. "I just gotta get Connor to back off, that't it. If we're not so close all the damn time, I won't have to worry about it." He states trying to make himself believe that.
Hank gets up and topples over into the bathroom to try washing his face. He ends up throwing up some before finally hearing his phone buzz. It was him ready to be picked up and obviously Hank was not in the conditions Connor's going to appreciate. He rolls his eyes and goes to grab his keys. "Alrightyy Sumo I'll be back!" He pats the dog in tipsy motions before leaving and getting in the car to Jericho.