Eleanor Ariti

I could get drunk right now.

Eleanor

"I'm so good at this." I say making the next move.

"Pfft, I'm better!" Lily scoffs scoring her third star.

We've been playing just dance a lot lately and it's honestly been so much fun.

"DINNER!" Mom yells from the kitchen.

Once we finish the rasputin dance we race each other to the table.

"I win!" I flex my arm, catching my breath.

"Did you feed Milo and Daisy?" Mom asks putting the salad on the table.

"I had to do it." Lily enhances her "great responsibility" .

"I asked you to do it, not her. Honestly what's happened to the little happy responsible girl I used to know? It seems like your constantly sad all the time and your driving me nuts!" Oh my dearest mother. Always so affectionate.

"Oh I'm sorry if my mood ruins yours. And how come you're bashing me about responsibility when I've never failed you??"

I start to eat my food. Lily's quiet now.

"I don't want to have this conversation right now."

"You started it!" I raise my voice out of anger.

Since my mood puts her in such a bad place why doesn't she just leave me alone instead of always judging my every move. For fucks sake, I forgot to feed the pets not that big of a deal.

"Don't raise your voice at me!"

I grab my plate and leave the table heading to my room.

"Sit back down!" I continue walking choosing to ignore her cries.

***

Once I reach my room tears flood my eyes. I always cry out of anger, it's frustrating.

I finish my food quickly. Doing "normal" things like brushing my teeth or eating food while crying really hits for some reason.

I put on Kaden's sweatshirt and some shorts. I forgot to give it back to him, but honestly kind of glad I didn't.

I grab my earphones, my glasses because and Alaska's book. I put on my black converse, slightly ruined, while wiping my tears. Maybe I'm being dramatic, but mom has really been up my ass lately. Everything I do is never enough. It gets tiring after some time.

I run down the stairs and face mom and Lily in the living room. Each doing their own thing.

"Where you going at this time?"

"Out." I close the door on her face and put on my earphones. Salvia Palth's music quieting my loud thoughts.

I don't know where I'm going, but it's somewhere.

***

I walk and walk until I see the park. There's nobody there.

I sit down on a bench and take a deep breath, closing my eyes.

I wish to never encounter my so called dad, but sometimes I wonder what it would be like if he never left. If he never cheated.