May I Hold You | Bokuaka

9

To make up for the last chapter I'll give y'all fluff today, enjoy <3 (okay actually there will be some angst but there will be fluff too) tws for mentions of abuse and drinking!

(Bokuto POV)

As I expected, Suga and Oikawa were late to lunch again. They said they had to talk with a teacher, but Suga dropped some not so subtle hints that me and Akaashi's suspicions are true.

Speaking of Akaashi, he did not look happy when he walked into the cafeteria and saw me.

"Bokuto." Akaashi sat next to me, completely ignoring his food and my wave to him, and gently grabbed my face in his hands. Whether or not he noticed me blushing- or his own blush- he didn't let go. "What happened to your eye?"

I tried to ignore the butterflies in my stomach as I put my hands over his. All of my friends had the same reaction as him, and they all examined my eye this closely too, so it's no different just because it's Akaashi, right? Besides, I've never seen him look this worried.

"It's nothing. I'm fine, really, don't look so concerned. It barely even hurts."

Akaashi pulled his hands out from under mine and crossed his arms. "It's clearly not fine," he sighed. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Don't worry, Suga took care of it."

"Alright..." Akaashi did not look or sound convinced, but he dropped the subject and glanced at the empty seats across from us. "Where are Suga and Oikawa?"

"Oh, they're probably doing boyfriend things."

"So they are dating? Did one of them tell you?"

"Well, not exactly, but... Suga dropped some very obvious hints last night." I grinned, and Akaashi smiled softly. "The topic of Oikawa's abs had him way too flustered."

Akaashi gasped. "That's playing dirty. You knew exactly what you were doing when you brought that up."

I laughed and fluffed Akaashi's hair. "That's the whole point! And seeing how red his face got was priceless!"

"And here I was, thinking you would just pester one of them until they folded."

"Oh how wrong you were."

"Clearly." Akaashi rubbed at his eyes behind his glasses and sighed. "Oh by the way, I can go to your match tomorrow."

"Oh yeah, I meant to answer you last night but as you can see I was a bit preoccupied."

Akaashi's smile faded as he looked at the cut and bruise again. I really do want to tell him, but...

"Akaashi, you really don't need to worry. I promise I'll be okay. And I want to tell you, but... Not here."

"You don't have to. If you don't feel comfortable, or you're not ready, I would never want to force you into something. If you say that you're okay then I'll trust you."

That's what makes it so hard to lie to him- how he's so worried about me, but willing to trust that I'm okay if I say I am.  I mean, how am I supposed to tell him what my mom does, and why? Especially when I-

I don't want to risk losing him. I don't know what I'd do with myself if he distanced himself from me, which I have no doubt he would do if he thought that would make my mom stop. Eventually, I will tell him though. I really will.

"Hey, do you want to get something to eat after the game tomorrow? Maybe we could go to that cafe or something."

Akaashi nodded, his fluffy hair falling into his eyes behind his glasses. "I think that would be nice."