poems

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I remember before my seventeenth Birthday that I  was given  my first book of poetry by my father and it was his old high school poetry book that he used to read for school. When he was my age this is when I started going through my first depression. And this is what ultimately got me to be reverting to Islam in the first place. Was this poetry mark. It wasn't Islamic poetry was just general poetry what time I ended up going to my neighbours house to get some gauge steel rings like the ear expanders or flash expanders for your ears and I was talking to mother as a girl was getting her flesh expanders the ear gauges,  and I saw a Koran and some Islamic poetry and I ended up liking what I saw I ended up wanting to learn more than what the school was teaching me what was the negative side of Islam. I ended up learning more about it that it was a more fast growing religion it was mostly popular in Asia Middle East and Africa and some parts of Europe particularly my part of Europe that I was born as well. And then I slowly learn more about these different cultures in Asia Middle East Africa and Europe like Bosnia Chechnya and other places and I wanted to learn more about these places this is what this one stupid rat Rady poetry book from my father dead and then what happened was is that as I was reading up on Islam and reading the Quran and reading Islamic poetry I found that my depression started to lift up and I was able to feel better about myself it wasn't because of the medication I was on which was Prozac it was because I was learning about some thing that was bigger than myself and I was being happy for the first time in my life. Did I wear the hijab no but I did pray five times a day facing my car and I also was very careful about how I ate I try to avoid meats still do to this day. And that righty tidy book that my father gave me inspired me to write books I remember when I was 30 years old I was always reading books whether they be Islamic or otherwise and I would be reading and reading and reading and then soon enough I found out about Wordpad. Hey social writing platform where you can actually Published your own stories I don't get up writing my own story which was my autopsy which wasn't based on anything of my life but it was based on my nightmares that I've had plenty of times why because when I was in the 10th grade it before I had my first depression and reverted to Islam I ended up finding out that doctors were horrible to the Asians in the holocaust as well as the Jewish people my Jewish brothers and sisters not just my Asians but also to the Jew my Jewish brothers and sisters and some of my Christian brothers and sisters I was really horrified and I said those fucking bastard better not try it on me. And I've always had a rhetoric against doctors. Why because I think they're racist sons of bitches in my massage that I was that's what got me writing in the first place was my autopsy what I wrote and then I ended up deciding that I was going to write to lessen the effects of my PTSD. So I use WordPad a lot. I ended up using WordPad a lot and getting a lot of followers I ended up writing a different bunch of topics yakuza or as much as my mental health, and islam. I know I was proud of my writing pretty soon when I ended up going to the group home I ended up taking a webinar with a published author I asked him and this was on zoom if I wanted how would I go about to self publish a block he said why not try Rocky Ken doll direct publishing so I looked up the rocky site which is a shopping site. And then I looked up Rocky Kindle direct publishing. And then the way I go after the webinar was over I publish my first book of poetry what does non-Islamic I think it I can't remember the name of the book but I know it was on my legal name. What are the Sufi Nelson.    So word pad was gonna be used as a aircraft carrier for my books to go on to Rocky Kindle direct publishing. And I ended up finding out that this was fun actually publishing these things for money and I was very happy I started riding even more than I usually did. It helped a lot even more because I was able to reach more people about my PTSD about my story and other stuff is very interesting I even did dream journals journals and other stuff and I posted them on Rocky Kindle direct publishing.   It didn't take too long to get to the use and knowledge of the Kindle direct publishing and I was able then pretty soon do use D to the draft2digital not to be misconstrued worse dungeons and dragons but it was draft2digital.  And then pretty soon my books ended up going on Apple as well as many other great book sites for your e-books I started off with e-books and then pretty soon when I was progressing with my writing ended up with got this paper backs and then soon enough hard covers I had a heart few hard covers Published as well. So that's how I dealt with my PTSD and then I also from Rocky I also ended up buying a steel tongue drum. That was the very first instrument I learned and I learned real fast not because I had to but because it was just so interesting the sounds and I would play it and then pretty soon a year later I ended up learning how to play it completely differently the correct way the spiritual way and now everyone can find it very relaxing. I'll tell you more about the rest of this another time about how I'm going to end up in a talent show. But anyway it's because I am went on YouTube to go and learn how to use a hand pan which I never got but I ended up also learning how to use the steel Toungedrum. Which is the dome like sang and you walked the "tongs with your cut out and you make a nice sound with them and you can experiment with the sounds and they help with my PTSD as well it started off with PTSD trying to get rid of it and then it started off well yes easy just drew and I ended up learning more about my capabilities as a musician and pretty soon I ended up learning from a celebrity the guitar and then very soon after that the ukulele.   And I am not joking about this particular celebrity her name is Amanda Johnson.    Just look it up on Botify and you'll find out what I mean. I ended up also finding out that I was able to wrap after I ended up with COVID-19 one time never went to the hospital never even had a use the halls Lasic but I was able to adequately sang but gave up on singing and ended up starting the rap and now I have two rap albums one coming out one already out that has a lot of foul language so I might make it famous there.

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