Chapter39: DEAR, JAY

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"Dear Jay

I don't know where to start to be honest. I know you might get mad to me or worst and I get that because I deserve that. I left without saying goodbye, I left without letting you know what is happening to me and my family, I left without letting you say those words. For the past years of having you as my friend, I can tell that there's something about you. I can feel it because you always makes me feel it. I also know that you've been dying to say that to me but I always cut you off or ignore, and even pretend that I don't feel the same. You are a good person but it's me. It's me that you should get mad to, not to yourself. It was me who always sabotage your feelings. I'm afraid that something might changed when we let our emotion easily. It was all my fault. The way you looked at me, the way you take care of me, the way you acted towards me, the way you talked to me, it just changed one day and I knew that you finally feel the same way about me. Yes, that's right. Since the day we met, it just happened. I was in denial that it might just something but no, the more we're together, the more it developed. It last for two years and you still got no hint about what I feel towards you. So, I buried it deeper and came to realized that it would be better to be just friends. The next day of me finally realizing for us to be friends, that's when you changed. I can tell that you finally reciprocate my emotion towards you because I was like that to you for two years. Again, I was in denial. But each day you let me feel your feelings and because of that I let mine for you feel it. We're just like a low-key couple that doesn't have a string. You've been meaning to put label but again, it was my fault. Our friends knew about it and I'm thankful that they understand that if we continue doing this, it might went bad.

People loves you, Jay, because of who you are. Thank you for being such a good friend to me, to us. I can't wait to see you with others to debut. Your dream is finally coming! This is it! This is what you've been wanting since we were trainee. I might not be with you to help you achieve that, but I hope I'm somehow become the part of your journey to achieve your dream. It's such a pleasure to meet a beautiful soul like you.

Till we meet again, Mi amor.

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