A Merry Muppet Mash-Up

ACT 2: SCENE 9

The scene starts with the Polar Bear Express Train coming to a stop at the gates of Candyland while 'The Kingdom of Sweets' plays. Everyone, including Rizzo, gets off; Rizzo is wearing a Groucho Nose and Glasses plus a red sweater as a disguise. They gasp and stare in horror at all the damage it took during the war with the rats. Candycane fences were in pieces and gingerbread houses and buildings were nearly eaten away.

Rizzo: [As he's gazing at the eaten scenery] "For the record, we rats were not responsible for this." [Sees rat bites on gumdrop bushes] "At least not all of it."

They all ignore him and continue observing the scene; the only things left standing are the wide-open black licorice main gates and the fruit cake bridges. From there, everyone continued cautiously into Candyland. As they're walking on a gumdrop road, the citizens of Candyland (most of whom are animated) come out from the few buildings still in one piece. Goofy and Roger Rabbit, both in jawbreaker armor, step in front of Clara's group.

Goody/Candyland's Guard: [Takes a guard's stance, sticks out his arm, and shouts] "Halt! Who goes there?"

Roger/Candyland's Guard Captain: [Shakingly with his knees knocking while holding a candy cane lance] "Y-y-yeah! W-w-w-what he said!"

Pepe: [Pretends to blow a trumpet] "Announcing their royal highnesses; the Prince of Toyland and Princesses of Candyland!"

Upon hearing that, the rest of Candyland's citizens came out of hiding; including some very familiar faces. Sam Eagle, Fozzie and Emily Bear, plus the Swedish Chef. They surround the two girls. Some say look how much they've grown. Others ask how one of the twins could be older than the other one.

Miss Piggy/Sugar Plum Fairy Queen: [Answers] "When I brought them to the Other Realm, ten years passed between deliveries. That's why one of them is older." [Looks at the girls] "Looking back now, I've just realized that I took the girls in opposite birth order."

Marie: "In other words, I'm the older twin and she's the younger twin."

Clara: [On seeing the Swedish Chef, the Stahlbaums, and Sam Eagle] "Mr. and Mrs. Stahlbaum?! What are you doing here?"

Marie: [After noticing them] "You too Father Sam. I thought you guys were back at the mansion."

Sam Eagle, in a candied mayor's uniform, looks at Fozzie and Emily, both are wearing white baker's aprons and chef's hats. Fozzie and Emily look behind them before looking back at Sam Eagle and shrug.

Sam Eagle/Candyland's Mayor: "We don't know whom you're talking about, but we've always lived in Candyland."

Fozzie/Candyland Baker: "Same here. Ma and I have always been sous chefs to the head baker."

Fozzie gestures to the Swedish Chef, whose baker's uniform is red. The Swedish Chef says in his accent that he's always been the head chef of Candyland. At the confused expressions on the sisters' faces, Beau explains.

Beau Blu: "Sometimes a person's dreams are so strong that their other self ends up in either Candyland or Toyland."

The girls look at the toy versions of their friends from the orphanage and then nod in agreement.

Walter/Nutcracker: [Steps forward] "Excuse me, but where are the king and queen?"

All of Candyland's citizens become depressed and stare at the ground.

Rizzo: "I take it that the news is not good?"

Random Gingerbread Man: [Places his hand on Clara's shirtsleeve and says solemly] "It would be easier to show you."

As the gingerbread man leads the group through what little is left of Candyland, the sound of a warped clock chime echos all over.

Daisy Duck: [After the chime ends] "I lost count, how many is that?"

Mickey Mouse: "Ten. Just two more and everything will all be over."

Random Gummie Bear: "At least that chime didn't sound as bad as the last four."

Marie: "That kinda sounded like the old Grandfather Clock back home."

Minnie Mouse: "That was the World Holiday Clock. It regulates all magic in the three realms. While it was being built, many of its wood chips were disbursed all over the Other Realm. I wouldn't be surprised if they had one of the chips where you and your sister grew up."

Donald Duck: "In case you're wondering, the World Holiday Clock is at Marzipan Palace."

Everyone continued walking in silence until they reached the palace. Marzipan Palace, once bright and beautiful, is now dark and partially eaten. Giant holes riddled the walls and dome roofs.  It was a wonder how the palace was still standing.

The gingerbread man pushed open the double doors and stood aside; gesturing for Clara and the rest to enter. Upon stepping into the palace, they saw that the inside was much worse than the outside. The hole where the Rat King and his army emerged stretched out in a crescent moon shape from wall to wall. But the worst was the two hard-candied pillars at the top of the grand staircase.

Miss Piggy, Kermit, Sweetums, Beau Blu, and Toyland's toys stood there with expressions of shock and horror. Walter, Rizzo, Clara, and Marie carefully jumped over the hole and got a closer look at the pillars. The first pillar was of a man in a king's crown and cape. The second was of a woman in a gown and queen's tiara; both of them have defiant expressions.

The two girls step up to the pillars. Clara examines the man while Marie examines the woman.

Clara: [Gently touches the candied statue] "Dad?" [Hugs the statue] "Marie and I are home."

Marie: [At the same time as Clara] "Mom?" [Hugs and sniffs] "We're back."

Rizzo sniffs back tears as he looks at the scene. He lifts off his Groucho Nose and Glasses to wipe his face. Walter watches him and gently pats him on the shoulder.

Rizzo: "Y-you gotta understand." [Sniffs] "This is not what we rats wanted." [Cries]

Walter/Nutcracker: "What did you guys want?"

Marie: "That's what I like to know."

Rizzo: [After he gets his crying under control] "For centuries, we rats have been always despised. Never being allowed to celebrate with anyone. And whenever we try we get chased away."

Clara: "And the bite marks on literally everything?"

Rizzo: "You have to understand! We were starving! Both for food and for acceptance. And when we didn't get either, that's when our king showed up. He told us that if we couldn't have acceptance or food, then we should just take the latter. What happened after that was explained when that big-wigged bear read the story aloud."

Here is where Sweetums and company come into the scene.

Sweetums: "So what now?"

Pepe: "Yeah, Barneby and the Rat King aren't just going to lift you guys off easy."

Walter/Nutcracker: "We make our stand and fight back." [Turns to Rizzo] "Any ideas when your former buddies and king will get here?"

Rizzo: "My best guess would be by the next clock chime."

End of Scene 9