A Merry Muppet Mash-Up

ACT 1: SCENE 5

The scene starts in the Ballroom with the Grandfather Clock striking six o'clock while the Electric Mayhem plays 'It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year' without lyrics. Fozzie and Emily, in full traditional 19th-century formal party attire, are mingling among the guests. The kids: Clara, Fritz, and Marie are in a more modern formal party attire, and are chatting with their old friends from the orphanage. Both human and Muppet.

In the living room, the Christmas Tree glowed with ornaments of Mickey and friends, including Rodger Rabbit. At the tree's base, a polar bear train journeyed around the tree, passing through a gingerbread and candy village and an ice castle adorned with snowflakes. The scene changes to the balcony on the upper staircase where Kermit is seen from the shadows, watching the scene before he turns to the audience.

Kermit/Hoffmann: [Waves to the audience] "Welcome back." [Turns his head back to the party] "The Ball has been going on for about an hour now. So far, all that has happened is talking and mingling." [Turns back to the audience] "Nobody's dancing." [Jumps as the tempo from the Electric Mayhem suddenly picks up as they play 'Jingle Bell Rock' with lyrics. He looks down at the Ballroom, looks back at the audience, and says before turning back to the party] "I stand corrected."

The scene focuses on the dancing partiers as Kermit resumes his narration.

Kermit/Hoffmann: "As the Christmas Eve Ball gets into full swing, loud cannon fire is heard. [The sound of a cannon goes off] "While the staff rushes to open the skylight, the band stops playing as the partiers move back so that there's a spot on the floor for Hans Drosselmeyer to land." [Pauses as the scene unfolds]

From the domed skylight in the Ballroom ceiling. We see the clear winter sky with a falling star, Gonzo, heading for the open skylight. The scene resumes its focus on the Ballroom. The partiers look up at the sky and the clear landing space. He lands on the star's center of the rug pattern, in his own traditional 19th-century formal party attire, and spreads his arms out in a 'Ta-Da' pose.

Gonzo/Drosselmeyer: "Merry Christmas everybody!"

The partiers cheer and applaud. Even Fozzie and Emily, who's shaking her head in defeat, applaud. The band resumes its number as the scene returns its focus to Kermit.

Kermit/Hoffmann: "Just after the band finishes their number. The hired chef announces that the Christmas Dinner is ready." [Pauses again as the scene unfolds]

The Swedish Chef and his sous chef, Pepe, come in from the Grand Dining Room and announce that dinner is ready. Everyone heads to the Grand Dining Room and sits down to eat. Adults, staff, teens, kids, and the Electric Mayhem all have their own tables to eat from. The staff began eating after they finished serving all the guests.

Clara finishes her plate early, but seeing that Pepe has too many dishes in his arms, she brings her dish into the kitchen herself. The scene moves to said kitchen where the Swedish Chef is stirring a pot, singing 'Jingle Bells' in his accent. Rizzo is trying to break out of his cage. Clara enters the kitchen just as the Swedish Chef is tasting his brew while Rizzo begs the Swedish Chef to let him go.

Rizzo: [Panicked and shaking the cage] "Please, oh please, let me go! I really don't taste good in soup!"

The Swedish Chef says that he won't hear any more of Rizzo's begging, in his accent, and that it's time to prepare him for the soup. He picks up Rizzo's cage as Rizzo shakes the bars.

Rizzo: [Screams] "NOOO!"

Clara: [Demands from inside the doorway] "What's going on here?"

Both Rizzo and the Swedish Chef stop what they're doing. In his accent, the Swedish Chef tells Clara that he is just about to prepare the second course of the dinner; Rat Soup. Clara walks further into the kitchen and stops at the menu on the wall. She looks closely at the menu.

Clara: [Asks in complete confusion] "Where does it say Rat Soup?"

The Swedish Chef shows her the crinkled-up menu from his pocket. Clara shakes her head, puts her plate in the island sink, smooths out the menu, and hands it back to the Swedish Chef. The Swedish Chef exclaims "ah rutabaga soup" in his accent. He puts Rizzo's cage back on the counter and goes to the fridge to get out the rutabagas.

Rizzo: [Wipes his brow] "Whew. That was a close one." [Sighs in relief. Then looks at Clara] "Thank you, miss. You've saved my life. Now if you don't mind." [He rattles his cage] "Open the door and let me out, please."

Clara: [Narrows her eyes, folds her arms, and demands] "What are you doing here, rat?"

Rizzo: [Insulted at being called 'rat'] "The name is Rizzo, thank you! And your Godfather brought me here to keep an eye on me. No offense intended." [He adds regarding Gonzo's patched left eye]

Clara: "I'm not letting you out." [Leaves the kitchen amidst Rizzo's protests] "And for the record!" [She adds as she reaches the door and turns back to Rizzo] "Rats have done nothing but make mine and my sister's life miserable! I don't trust you!" [She storms right out of the kitchen]

The Swedish Chef whistles and says in his accent, 'women'.

Rizzo: [Turns to the Swedish Chef] "You said it." [Shakes his cage] "Would you mind letting me out?"

The Swedish Chef tells Rizzo 'no' and goes back to finish making the soup. Rizzo sighs in aggravation and shakes the cage even harder than before. The Swedish Chef pours his now-finished soup into a serving soup bowl. Puts the bowl on the serving cart and wheels it out of the kitchen.

End of Scene 5.