A Merry Muppet Mash-Up

ACT 1: SCENE 9

As 'The Battle' music score continues, Clara and Walter enter the room. They find themselves witnessing a battle between the (now awakened) toys and the rats. The crash that had alerted them had come from a vase hitting the floor after. The rats had knocked it over when ducking from a flying cork from a toy cannon.

Walter/Nutcracker: [Turns to Clara and shouts] "Toss me to the tree!"

Clara: [Looks sharply at Walter] "Say what?!"

Walter/Nutcracker: "Just do it!"

Clara: "Don't blame me if you get hurt!" [She throws Walter, football style, to the Christmas Tree.

Walter/Nutcracker: [Draws out his sword as he's flying] "Charrrrge!"

Kermit resumes his narration from his hiding place behind the archway to the living room.

Kermit/Hoffmann: [Explains the scene] "When Rizzo escaped from the cage, he ran away and told the Rat King what happened." [Places his hand beside his face] "Minus being captured and held inside a cage." [Puts his hand down and continues the narration] "The nutcracker lands in the branches of the Christmas Tree and climbs to the top. The rats are trying to summon their king to this realm, and the only way to do that is to burn the needles of a real Christmas Tree. And those needles have to come from the top of said tree." [Ducks as a stray cork flies over his head] "Meanwhile, as the nutcracker is fighting off the rats in the tree, Clara is helping the toys by throwing corks and hard nuts at the rats or reloading their cannons." [Pauses as the scene unfolds]

Clara throws one nut and cork after another at the rats. While up at the top of the Christmas Tree, Walter is fighting one rat after another using the Christmas Star as a shield and the branches for a second sword. As 'The Battle' music score increases in volume, Clara calls for a timeout.

*Music pause*

Clara: [Waves her arms and yells] "Whoa! Whoa! Hold it! Stop!!!" [After everyone stops what they're doing, she demands] "How is all this noise not waking anybody up?"

*Here is where Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker come into the scene.*

Dr. Honeydew: [As he and Beaker step into the center of the scene from off-camera] "I can explain that."

Beaker: [Nods his head] "Mee-mee."

Dr. Honeydew Holds up a barometer-like instrument. It has a gold star at the top, a silver star to the left, a Christmas tree next to the silver star, a snowflake next to that, and a massive grey area with nothing after that. Plus a clock in the center of the arrow. He points to the arrow.

Dr. Honeydew: "As you can see, the arrow on this Magic Meter is on the golden star." [Then points to the small clock in the center] "And the clock has stopped, meaning that all time has come to a stop. Every year, magic gets so powerful that time has to stop for it to disperse properly." [Puts the meter down and addresses the audience] "That's how Santa can fly all around over world, country to country, town to town, house to house, in one night and deliver presents to everyone."

Beaker: [Agrees] "Meep."

Dr. Honeydew: [Turns to Clara] "So in short, Miss Clara, the reason all this noise isn't waking anyone up is that they're all trapped in time and can't hear the noise."

A rounding of 'Ahs' and head nods circulate the room. From the top of the stairs, Marie is wide awake and watching the whole thing.

Marie: [She calls down] "Guess again!"

Everyone shoots their heads up to the balcony and sees Marie.

Clara: "What are you doing up?"

Marie: [Rounds off as she descends the stairs] "Well, first it was something breaking. Then the battle noise. And finally, all the shouting."