Nursery Rhymes for the Mentally Ill

Never Give a Robin Tea

Little Robin Redbreast came to visit me; this is what he whistled, thank you for my tea. Which is strange because I didn't give him any tea.

I glared at the two idiots. If you remember, Tweedledee and Tweedledum showed up just to give me a hard time. The crow said to just walk away. And obviously, and as you well know, I had been trying that. I pondered it. For a long time, I pondered whether or not I could or could not just get up and leave. So I stood up and walked away. The two Tweedles just stood there as I looked back at them, they smiled mischievously as if something very wrong was just about to happen. I swung my head forward only to find pitch darkness. I walked right into it before I knew what was going on.

I started falling, like a long way down. You know that feeling in your stomach when you're falling, or you jump off a high dive? I had that feeling, for a while. I was just falling. I looked up and saw pitch black. I had no way of knowing how far I had fallen. I started hearing voices, of old women. Well they sounded old. They sounded small. Light started pouring into... wherever I was and I could see that things were materializing.

Finally, when there was light everywhere, when I got somewhere, I slowly stopped falling, and I landed in front of a small house. I was in a forest, a dense one at that. It was more of a petite cottage. It was mostly wood and the roof was straw. It was very old architecture. There were Dutch doors on the front. There was a small pond with mother ducks guiding their ducklings. I stood up and wiped the dirt from my clothes. I approached the door, but hesitated to knock. What if some giant monster answered the door? Or even a cannibal? I had no idea what to expect, but I was hungry and tired, and excited that I was somewhere other than that awful mulberry bush.

I knocked on the door and a small, frail old woman peeked her head through the door. She had a button nose and rosy cheeks. She seemed nice. She was small and old, so if she tried to eat me, I'm sure she wouldn't succeed.

"Hello? Oh my! Come in! Come in! You look terrible, and hungry, and tired. Oh dear!" She herded me into the house and sat me down on a large, and very well cushioned chair. She brought me a blanket and a piece of bread. There was light blue swirling into the center of the bread, and I was unsure for a moment, but hunger overcame me. It was delicious. At first it tasted like apple pie, then it tasted like egg rolls, and then it tasted like chocolate ice cream. And suddenly I realized, it not only tasted like those things, it had the same temperature and textures of those things. It was wonderful.

"What is th-" I stopped short as I saw a figure standing on the stairs.

"Well, look who the cat dragged in!" Dani said as she emitted this huge smile. She ran over to me and hugged me. She looked at me again, examining me closer.

"What the heck? How did you get here? And what the heck?" I said, completely overwhelmed by so many thoughts.

"I am going to have to tell you this whole huge long story about after we split up and everything, aren't I?" She asked.

"Well, yeah." I said then I saw him, Dani's twin brother. He was here? In Cookoo Land? What the heck? "What the heck?"

"Hey, what's up?" Daniel said, as he gave a slight nod. Everything started going black. Or, in other words, I fainted. But at this point in the story I'm sure you wouldn't know the difference between me fainting, or something crazy is about to happen.

While I was out, I had a dream. This robin, along with a bunch of weird pigeon-like birds, started crowding around me, asking for tea.

"I don't even know how to make tea you weirdos." I said, backing away from the menacing birds. Then, they all thanked me for the tea and flew away.