Nursery Rhymes for the Mentally Ill

Five, four, death, and a prince of frogs

Five little speckled frogs sat on a speckled log eating some most delicious grubs. One got sucked into a huge hill. Then was killed, skinned, cooked, and eaten. Then there were four green speckled frogs.

We were near this swamp. There were frogs everywhere. I am not kidding, I stepped on thirty-seven frogs five minutes out into the swamp. It was insane, the ribbetting sounded like it was emitting from surround sound speakers.

                “This is gross,” Ash complained as we waded through the muddy puddles. Everything was covered in moss, mud, and frogs.

                “It’s said that the frog prince lives here, under a mound of mud and frogs,” Ross said as he picked a soggy branch from his boot.

                “Ribbet,” I said laughing.

                “Ribbet,” Ash said, also laughing.

                “Ribbet, ribbet,” Alice said.

                “Guys, chill,” Ross said, “Hey Ash, we never did get that coffee date.”

                “What makes you think we could have it now? Would you like mud with that mud ma’am?” Ash said in a masculine voice.

                “Would you like some frog guts with that sir?” I said adding on to the mockery that was taking place.

                “I don’t know, I just thought of it,” Ross said, hurt by our mean words.

                “Yes, these slimy frogs and the mud totally remind me of coffee,” Alice said as we trudged through the slippery, slimy, mud filled swamp. We eventually came to a huge hill that was covered in mud, and an odd number of frogs. There were way more frogs populating this mound of mud and moss than there were outside of it.

                “Do you think maybe this is where the frog prince lives?” I asked as we carefully walked around the hill.

                “I don’t know, but if he lives anywhere, it probably looks a lot like this,” Ross said, awestruck at the huge mound of frogs. As we walked around the hill, we came across a door attached to the side of it. It was towering and menacing. A sort of blackish green, like all of the frogs. one of the frogs was suddenly sucked into the mound. There was ribbeting, a knife being sharpened, excessive slicing, a steam sound, and then a glass plate being set on wood.

                 "Guys, did you just hear that?" I asked. All no's came from them, "Someone just ate a frog."



                Then, Alice fell to the ground, randomly. She quaked, as if she were having a seizure.

                “Alice! Alice!” I cried. She couldn’t be dying, not after she already had. I felt time slow down, and everyone was moving in slow motion. Alice wasn’t quaking anymore, just lying on the ground. Then time sped up to its normal pace.

                “Guys,” Alice said as she sat up, “I just went to the place where I was when I was dead,”