Nursery Rhymes for the Mentally Ill

King Cole needs some brain work... ASAP!!!

              Chapter 11 - Dani

                    Old King Cole was a merry old soul and a merry old soul was he; he called for his pipe, and he called for his bowl and he called for his fiddlers three. Every fiddler he had a fiddle, and a very fine fiddle had he; oh there's none so rare, as can compare with King Cole and his freakish way of running his kingdom. Someone tell me, please, when is he ever going to get a grip?

                All three of us were in a stinky, wretched sewer, but at least we were together. We had been in there for a few minutes when I heard a depressing little sigh on the other side of the sewer. Ash and Alice had heard it too.

                “It wasn’t me,” Ash said. All three of us were slowly walking towards the source of the sound when we heard someone talking.

                “Oh, don’t mind me. You can turn me in if you want to. I’m just plain old Humpty Dumpty, I have no worth. I’ve been trying to stay away, but you guys outnumbered me, and frankly, I have no strength,” he sighed again at the end of his depressing speech.

                “Let me just ask, what did you do that got you into so much trouble?” I asked.

                “Well, for starters, I killed my brother, but not intentionally, I had no means of ever killing him. But even if it is man-slaughter, the Old King Cole doesn’t like my heritage, so he threw me in prison. I tried pleading, but we don’t have the right government for the right kind of justice,” he once again sighed. This was a sad little man, and I personally wanted to help him.

                “Girls, private… meeting,” we turned around and each spoke amongst ourselves, “I think we should help this guy. After all, he has nothing, we might as well help him regain something,”

                “I agree,” said Ash.

                “I don’t know guys, maybe he’s trying to trick us,” Alice said. Ash turned white and wide eyed in realization.

                “No, he’s not trying to trick us, he’s telling the complete truth, I swear on my life. Just trust me,” Ash walked back over to Humpty, “We have agreed to help you regain… whatever you had before and your freedom,” Dumpty-pale-butt jumped up in glee and did a little yabba dabba doo kind of thing.

                “Okay, well I’ve worked out a little plan, and you my friends will help me put it in action. Oh, and let me guess, your name is Ashlynn, yours is Daniella, and yours is Alice. Don’t say a thing, I am partially psychic. My mother was a gypsy, and my father a wizard. Sometimes things just come to me. Oh, and those special skills that you hold, those aren’t a fluke, especially you Alice,” we were kind of astonished. He talked non-stop, but he was right about everything, and I was curious about Alice. I told everyone that there were no more king’s men, for as far as I could hear, which is pretty far. So we all climbed out of the sewer, and into the not-so-fresh, foggy air, but it was a lot better than sewer air. I looked around for any ninja assassins, or whatever the king’s men looked like.

                “Hey, little pale dude. We need to stop at a clothing store so I can steal some stuff for us, in case you haven’t noticed, we kind of look different from everyone else,” he stopped walking abruptly, and turned around to face me.

                “We don’t need to stop somewhere, just because your beauty makes you stand out, does not mean that you should feel like you need to change,” he looked at me, satisfied with what he had said.

                “Well, two things. First, you need to change because you smell like butt and you need a disguise. Second, we need to change because obviously, irregularities will get our beautiful faces thrown in jail,” he stared at me for a moment, squinting, and then he nodded.

                “Okay, but I don’t have any money,”

                “Like, I said before, I can steal some stuff for us. I’ve stolen things under mall security, so I can probably steal something with no security,”

                “Okay, if you feel so confident, go right on ahead,” he said smiling a smile that only parents do when they know that you’re about to do something stupid, but I was confident. I had skills. We all walked into the clothing store, acting casual, while Humpty was hiding behind shelves of clothing. We had to try on something that looked semi-cute. I found a beautiful dress that was light-weight. It was an orange skirt, with an orange corset top, on top of a puffy white shirt, and the front laced with black leather. I tried it on, and did my hair all old fashion. I was a hot medieval babe. Alice got, guess what, an electric blue dress similar to mine, and Ash got one that was velvet green skirt with a light green corset top and a white puffy shirt underneath, which also laced in the front, like most dresses. They had dressing rooms in this little shop, so we all went in them, and all the girls handed me their dresses one at a time, while when I had one, I would evenly stuff it in my pants and shirt. I looked in the attempt of a mirror, and I didn’t look suspicious, just like I had intended. I know that this way sounds cheesy, but there were no windows or anything. I did this until we got all three dresses, and humpty dumpty’s attempt to disguise himself as a rich man. Next we had to go to a jewelry store to make him look half convincing. We all walked out of the store, and walked around the back of the building. We put our clothes on, without Humpty looking at us. We were finally looking medieval.