If Yesterday Could Disappear

Chapter 37

A Mother; A Daughter

Pinagmasdan ko ang hospital na nasa harapan ko at nakita ang mga taong abala sa kani-kanilang mga buhay. Despite their disabilities they want to live, that's why they are fighting. And I find it unfair before and unreasonable because If they could fight for their lives, why can't my mother think of me for once and comeback to me?

Kung hindi man ako, sana si Criza nalang ang inisip niya. Iyan ang lagi kong sinasabi sa sarili ko dati, but now that I am enlightened- I can no longer find an excuse to defend her.

"Mama, I want to be like them too!"

She's a bitch.

Habang nagpapakasaya siya sa kulungang ito, naghihirap ako dahil sa kasalanang ginawa niya.

I shookt my head and heaved a deep breath. I'll save those for later.

Pumasok ako sa loob at sinalubong ng mga matang kaagad na nagulat sa aking biglaang pagdating. After a year, it must be a surprise to see me back here. And I am surprised to see myself here too, akala ko nga hindi na ako mapupunta pa dito.

But here I am,

Lancer said my Mom is still on her old room, kaya't hindi na ako nagtanong pa at naglakad papunta sa kung nasaan ang Ina ko. I look confident, Yes.

But my heart is beating so fast indicating how nervous I am. Pero nandito na ako, aatras pa ba ako?

I stopped infront of her room and clenched my fist before opening her door.

And when I did, I saw her sitting just like what Lancer told me. She is facing the wall and her back is tensed. Having no single clue, on what's about to happen. So I stepped in her room and sat on her bed.

"Hello Mother. I'm back,"

I pulled her chair towards my direction and saw how she tries to stop herself from reacting. Ngayong nasa harapan ko na siya, pansin ko ang mga bagay na hindi ko manlang inaalala noon. She's unable to move on her own, so how could she possible have glitters on her eyes?

Perfume, and a moisturized lips.

"You don't seem happy to see me," I pouted, stroking her hair before tracing my long red nails on her cheeks.

"I was gone for a year, you don't miss me?" Napahinga ako ng malalim at bahagyang lumayo sa kaniya. Acting dissapointed. I grabbed my bag and showed her the gift I brought for her. It's wrapped in white and it has a black ribbon around it.

"I'll open it for you," ngumiti ako at sinimulang buksan ang regalo ko para sa kaniya.

"Paris is fun, I found out alot of things actually, and now your problematic daughter is better than ever."

"And there's this book I saw that I thought you would really love." I exaggerated. Nang matanggal ko ang puting wrapper ay lumitaw ang pulang kahon sa aming harapan.

I frowned and showed it it to her.

"I thought it was white, because it looks pure and innocent but deep inside- It's actually hiding a very dark secret." Maang-maangan na sabi ko. Pinagmasdan ko ng maayos ang kaniyang mga mata at nakita ang bahid ng pagkalito at takot sa mga ito.

But what would a daughter do to her mother?

I showed her the inside of the box and It's filled with her pictures talking to Lucas. Within a second her breathing fastened, eyes panicking. But her posture remained, and I plan to break it.