Slave To The Imperium (Warhammer 40k)

Questions of fate

Ka'marius POV

(First I wanna say i rewrote this chapter like 3 fucking times over the span of like 5 or 7 hours so that was a pain, so while it's much shorter at about 2.4k words it's better than my previous drafts which came off as lazy and I am glad that I rewrote it multiple times)

I don't even know how long I have been here... Sleep is almost impossible and while I am not chained to the ceiling and hanging like what happened when I first here but this collar makes my neck hurt and I can feel a bruise that formed and it's horrible...Breathing feels worse for me and I can't get comfortable.

The only source of time I have is my hand wound and how fast it has been healing and it hasn't been healing fast and if anything the wound hurts worse now and my cell...No, you can't even call this place a cell...This just feels like something less than that.

Not to mention...Every footstep I hear makes me pray that is someone who will come and save me from this place and everytime I have felt disappointed...And the screams, the screams won't stop.

Everytime I get the smallest few minutes of sleep I have nightmares...I see myself in a hallway and the screams, the screams won't stop and I have heard someone yelling for hours and hours I can't even imagine what's happening and I am angry and I hate this situation...But I hate myself more than anyone else.

She said I am depraved and I want was happened 2 years ago happen...I didn't tell anyone and I told her on accident...T-The reason my body reacted w-was because I...I didn't like it, I know I didn't like it a-and my body betrayed me but I know I didn't like it!

Ka'marius:Damn it...Damn it, damn the emperor and damn the Imperium.

I should have ran away from the enlistment office, better to be a fugitive than to be here of all places...I could have gone off planet and went literally anywhere else in the galaxy.

Ka'marius:I could of been born on any other world.. To any other body...BUT DAMN IT I WAS BORN ON TERRA!

Mother is dead, father is dead... I should have stayed in the slums of Terra instead, just rotting away but instead I offered my freedom in return for a place to stay and I give them my services...I gave away everything from my freedom to my dignity.

But now I come to the realization...Have I ever really had a choice?

I was born in the slums of Terra...I made the choice of giving away my freedom and even majority if not all my rights in the Imperium in return for comfort and everyday...Everyday I had to go through the constant degradation from my "sisters" calling me weak and a coward and they aren't wrong...But I hate being reminded of it every waking moment while I watch them get strong and can take on anything in this galaxy and even after all of that I give everything, my rights, my freedom and sometimes...Even my body, but I ended up here.

Where did it all go wrong...No...It all went wrong on the day I was born...They aren't going to save me, the sisters won't save me and I only have my friends I can trust...I know that they won't forget about me and they will help me...They always do.

The Imperium has a uncountable amount of worlds and recruits and to think I mattered in this galaxy but I am a small larvae in a galaxy full of hornets, tigers and beast even I don't comprehend.

To be honest...I don't want my friends to leave me behind and I know they will help me... But if they did leave me behind I couldn't blame them, they all have skills and talents...Chances of actually being something and I don't have anything but blood and even that seems insignificant.

I hear the door open and when I look up I see her... She walks in and says nothing at all.

Ka'marius:W-What?