Journey To My World??

Chapter 8 - Growth

The trip back to the noodle shop was an interesting one to say the least. MK had transformed into a bird and carried me back to the city, but put me down and transformed back to himself then we walked back to the restaurant. I had done my best to not scream or get an anxiety attack from being so high off the ground while being carried by a bird. I could tell MK wouldn't let anything bad happen to me on purpose, but that didn't stop the fear of being dropped from such a height filling my brain. Though after that it was pretty chill and quiet. Of course that was mostly because I put a bit of distance between myself and MK. My mind was all over the place now that I'm awake and it caused me to be distant with him, even though it's not his fault for anything from the past.

I'm brought out of my thoughts as soon as I heard my name being shouted followed by a tackle hug from Bajie and May. I wasn't really able to return the hug with how they were holding me. "Guys, you're crushing me." With that the two let go and questions about myself came spilling out of May at such fast speeds while Bajie just gave me that concerned parent look that I haven't seen since I nearly died months ago.

I cover my ears as May spoke, which brings her questions to an end, then I remove my hands from my ears. "May, I'm safe. Nothing bad happened to me so relax. Copycat was interesting company, but he didn't do anything to harm me." I kept the full truth from my two friends to avoid whatever drastic reaction it'd get from them. However, I didn't take into consideration that my companion would expose my half truth.

"But Macaque said you had a panic attack when seeing Monkey King." I tensed up as soon as that sentence left his mouth. I could see the way the expressions on May and Bajie changed when they heard the sentence, which I knew meant I was about to get some kind of earful for hiding the truth followed by a rant about cutting this trip short. Just as I expected, May started ranting about not telling her the whole truth and how we should just cut our trip short. Bajie just stayed quiet while giving me a disappointed look. I knew MK didn't mean for this to happen, but honestly I wish he could've just kept his mouth shut.

"Shut up! Just shut up! I get it! I didn't tell you the truth, but I did that so I could avoid all of this! I'm not a helpless child that needs protecting from things that can't be controlled! There's going to be things that cause me panic attacks and there's nothing that you can do to stop them! Yes, Wukong is still a sore subject for me and will cause me panic attacks until I actually allow myself to accept that he hurt me to the point I wonder if I should've never called that day I nearly died just so I wouldn't go through the pain he causes me! Gods May, you think I want to have a negative reaction every single time someone mentions him?! I do not! Yet I have to live with it! So shut up and stop acting like you're the one who's going through all of this instead of me!"

My whole body was shaking from the overwhelming annoyance with my best friend. As much as I appreciate her concern and care for me it can be suffocating at times. I close my eyes as I take a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself after just blowing up on May in front of Bajie and MK while outside of the noodle shop. When I opened my eyes I noticed the shocked expressions on everyone's faces. "You just said his name... You haven't done that in months..." I stood there for a second before bursting out into laughter for a brief moment. "Is that really all you got from that? Seriously?"

"Nah, but I know I was going overboard again so your sudden burst of shouting was warranted. I'm sorry for being so overbearing with you, I just don't want to see you get hurt again." I sigh softly as I look away from the group, forever grateful that there's no one around at the moment to witness everything that has happened. "I know. It's just difficult to let him go. Even though that makes everything hurt more. However, he is making an effort to fix things." I felt a hand being placed on my shoulder, causing me to look in the direction it came from. "If he fucks up like he did last time then what he did to heaven will look like nothing when we're done with him." I could feel myself practically do the anime sweat drop from the threat May just made. "Isn't that right Bajie?" The pig demon just nodded in agreement.