Journey To My World??

Chapter 12 - Trauma of the Past

Just a little note: The ex partner is very loosely based on one of my exes and loosely based on family members that I don't associate with anymore (though they are mostly based on my family members). WARNING mentions of previous suicidal thoughts and trauma are in this chapter. You have been warned.  

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A soft groan escapes my lips as I feel the sun streaming through the blinds onto my face, effectively waking me up for the day. I slowly open my eyes as the realization that I'm in my bed slowly hits me. A sense of panic fills me as I try to remember how I ended up in my bed when I clearly remember being in the living room last night with Wukong. My body shoots up as I glance around for any hints of how I ended up in my room. Though the sudden coldness fills my senses. Instinctively I look down to see I'm in my pajamas before laying back down with the warm covers over me. This brought some relief to me. However, I don't remember putting them on.

Suddenly I remembered that Wukong wasn't in my room. Another groan came from me as I realized I'd have to get up and search for the monkey demon. I slowly and carefully got up from the warmth of my bed. I slightly shivered from the cold, but it wasn't an unbearable temperature. I exited my room and set off on my search for my boyfriend. Though it wasn't a long search. I found him in the kitchen making something.

"What are you doing?" The way he jumped a bit from hearing my voice was a bit funny, but I made no comment on it as he looked at me with a wide grin. "Making us breakfast! You looked so cute while you were sleeping that I thought I'd make us breakfast for once. Especially after what happened yesterday." I narrowed my eyes at him, not out of skepticism more because I still don't remember what we did last night. "Oh come on, I can cook. I may not have done it in years, but I know how to." I just shook my head and looked back at what he was making to see that it was all burnt or close to being burnt. "Yeah... I can see that."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I softly sigh as I walk over to him. "Wukong, you've burnt pretty much everything. I appreciate the thought and effort, but it's inedible." He looks so offended until he looks at the food to see that I'm right. Despite the way he kept more of a neutral expression his tail gave away how disappointed he was. "It's okay. Next time just wake me up and we can make breakfast together." I tell him before placing a soft kiss on his cheek. This effectively puts him in a better mood.

"Monkey, can you refresh my memory... What did we do last night?" I didn't really look at Wukong as I spoke, keeping my focus on cleaning the dishes that had been used during his attempt to cook. "Well we tried watching a movie, but ended up not. Instead we talked about a few different things then we made out." I gave him a deadpan look as that was not what I wanted to know because I remember that. "And?" I watch as his cheeks start to turn red while he lightly rubs his neck. His tail was moving around in a sporadic way as if he was trying to hide something. "Well... We..." He mumbled the rest of his sentence which earned an annoyed sigh from me. "I don't speak mumble Wukong." He sighs softly as he looks everywhere, but me. "Things got a bit heated between us and we, um, almost...did it.."

I blinked a few times as I just stood there with a clean dish in my hands before I placed it down. I tried my best to focus on what happened, hoping the memories would come back to me. As I wished the memories came flooding in. It answered how I ended up in my bed and in my pajamas, as well as why Wukong was still at my place. We only didn't do it because of my own insecurities that he respected. I guess the guilt of not being comfortable with my own body had me keeping those memories as something forgettable. A soft sigh escapes me as I go back to the dishes, finishing them up. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For not bei-"

"Hey, hey, don't blame yourself for not being ready to do something you've never done before. Having sex isn't something you force yourself to do just because someone else wants to do it. Don't think that you should've done it with me because I'm dealing with my own libido. It's called setting boundaries for a reason Peaches." As he spoke he moved closer to me, turning me around to face him as he wraps an arm around my waist while placing a hand on my cheek. "So don't ever feel sorry for saying no or stopping me from taking things to a point you're not ready for." I smile softly at him as I lean into his touch.