Love and secrets (OC x Leah Williamson)

Chapter 19 - struggle

I woke up in Leah's arms, I felt safe and warm but then it all came back to me. The events of yesterday remembering what had happened. I felt helpless though, I couldn't go and see my family because I was participating in a major tournament. All I could do was stay here and make sure I stayed in the right headspace for the euros.

After thinking for about five minuets Leah woke up, she pulled me tighter into her and kissed the back of my neck. "Morning beautiful, how are you today." She said in her sexy morning voice that made me forget all of the problems in my life. "I'm ok, I just feel helpless and I'm still shocked about it." I said to her quietly as Georgia was still asleep.

I turned around to face Leah and looked into her beautiful blue eyes. "I love you," I said looking at her "and thank you for everything you did for me yesterday, it means a lot." I said and she just smiled. "If it's something bothering you it's also bothering me." She said and we just stayed cuddled into each other until Georgia woke up and started being noisy.

"Come on, let's goooooo." Georgia said after we had finished getting ready and we were about to head down to breakfast. "Is she always this loud and enthusiastic after waking up?" I asked Leah and she laughed "yep sadly she is and I have to deal with her loud annoying mood." Leah said and it made me laugh "I heard that Williamson." Georgia turned round and said. "Good you were meant to." Leah said and I just kept laughing at how they were bickering like siblings.

We got down to the dining hall and I headed over to my usual place after getting my food. I sat down and almost immediately Leah sat down next to me and I rested my head on her shoulder. "You ok?" She asked So only I could hear. "I'm alright." I said quietly just barely believing myself.

Leah's POV:

We were at breakfast and Ella barely touched her food, I knew she was upset but I didn't want to push her to talk about it if she didn't want to. I also wanted to make sure she was ok and I needed her to know I was head for her all the time.

We left the dinning hall but before we did I went over to Georgia "hey G, do u mind if I use the room for a bit?" I asked her and she nodded "yeah as long as you don't do anything weird." She said as I ran off to catch up with Ella.

I caught up to her and she was slowly walking on her own back up to her room "hey, do you wanna come back to my room and we can talk, you know tell me what's going on inside your head?" I asked calmly so she knew I wasn't pressuring her into it. She just simply nodded in response and we walked off up to my room.

We walked through the door and she went straight to my bed where she lay down and just stared up at the ceiling "hey it's ok if you don't want to talk about it, but you might feel better if you do." I said softly walking over to the bed and sitting in the edge next to her and stroking her hair. "I want to tell you everything, I really do, but I don't know how to put what I'm feeling into words." She said on the verge of crying. "Ok but you can try." I said and she sat up and moved over so I could sit next to her properly.

She took a deep break before she started to talk "I don't think it has really hit me yet that he won't ever be here again and I don't know if I will ever be able to accept that. I miss him so much already and I want to know that my dad is ok but I can't get hold of any of my family, who are all together and there for each other and going through the same thing at the same time. I don't know what to do le it feels like I'm trapped and can't talk to anyone who with be able to sympathise in my situation. I just feel lost." She said quickly before bursting into tears and falling into my shoulder.

"Hey Ells, I know it's hard and yes I get I can't sympathise but I can empathise. We are all here for you no matter what and although we aren't going through the same thing as you we can make you feel safe and help you get through it." I said softly hugging her and stroking her back while she cried. "I know lee I just don't know what to do with myself and I don't know how to talk about how I feel without going on for ages and rambling about stuff that probably doesn't make any sense." She said still crying. "It doesn't have to make sense, you just have to tel everyone how you are feeling." I said trying to make her feel better.