It Was a Yes, But I Never Said It

28. Wish Our Story Had a Happy Ending

The year is ending today and I was wondering if I am going to be the first one whom he wishes happy new year. Sometimes, actually most often, I laugh at my own self for dreaming such things and expecting them to happen.

I watched a bollywood movie today and it is no secret that all bollywood movies have a happy ending. No matter what happens throughout the movie but towards the end, the hero manages to unite with the heroine and they live happily ever after.

I know I am no heroine and my story is not a bollywood movie but everytime I watch a romcom, my heart is full of Rihan's thoughts. I remember him as if he was never gone, as if we are a real couple and as if our story will have a happy ending too... Then comes the reality check that our story has already ended and it didn't have a happy ending as it iss no bollywood movie.

Earlier I used to constantly check my phone in the hope of viewing some text notification whose sender is Rihan. Everyday I used to wait for his call. But not any longer.

Talking to him doesn't feel the same now. After watching the video of the club he visited with barely dressed women roaming around, his smiling pictures while being surrounded by women one of whom just asked him out, him doesn't even bothering to remember my birthday and then lieing about it, him telling me that he dated just two girls till now but then later mentioning that he flirted with a girl for around four months, him telling me that he was in a different city for work during diwali but later shared his diwali celebration pictures in his flat. God knows what other lies he might have told me.

Talking to him now feels like I am talking to a stranger whom I connected online. A stranger about whom I know nothing. A stranger who is constantly making up stories and every word he has said feels like a lie now. Talking to him doesn't feel the same. All I wish to do is callback the day when I asked him out for a month. Reverse the day, I let him re-enter my life. I wish to just erase him from my memory forever because living like this is hard. One moment I am thinking about him, missing him, craving for his voice and the other, he feels like stranger. I am battling with my ownself every moment, for him and against him.

I feel guilty, ashamed and cheap. He is gone and is occupied in his own life but his thoughts never left me. I am still stuck.

I know he is not but every moment I pretend as if he is a nice, truthful and caring guy. Is it so hard for a person to be genuine and honest?

I never imagined parting could be this difficult. I think he should get hitched asap so that my heart accepts that he is gone.