It Was a Yes, But I Never Said It

3. Top View of the Camera Bag

After a few months, Rihan called again. This time I am returning from office and was heading to the nearest dairy to grab some milk. He mentioned that he wants me to see something that he has sent over facebook and I should see it on a laptop only. He requested me to call him once I see it.

I recieved the caIl this time, because of two reasons. One, I showing destiny that this case is all sorted, this guy doesn't affect me anymore. And two, I don't wish to hold on to the past. I wanted to let it go. Plus I had locked all the past memories somewhere that I don't even remember them now. 

"What on earth could he show" I thought to myself and continued to walk towards home. I was so hungry that instead of first checking the picture he shared, I thought of cooking myself something.

I headed straight to kitchen and oh lord, it was a total mess. Our help has been on leave for three days now. Out of all utensils, there's just one clean pan in the kitchen and fridge is empty.

I badly want to cook something because my stomach can't take anymore outside food. Even the thought of ordering food is making me sick.

Oh wait! it seems to be my lucky day. I found one small piece of Cauliflower and "that's my dinner!" I exclaimed to myself.

I quickly chopped it and placed it on stove. I thought of putting it on low heat as it will take time to cook and I headed towards my phone.

Rihan wanted me to see something and he said that I should check it on a laptop only. So I did as suggested. I opened the laptop to see the picture of his camera bag.

"Wow! fancy" I exclaimed. There are so many lenses accompanying his camera. But wait. There's something else as well. I zoomed in the image to find a tumbler and scissors lying in the bag.

"Wait, these are mine. I mean were mine. Ergh! What are they doing with him. I lost the scissors when we were in first year of college and couldn't find my tumbler during the same time. What are they doing with him and what is he doing with them" I am still thinking when a new message popped up "please call".

I didn't know how to react. I called him.

"Hey Adira, Did you see the image" he asked over call.

"Umhmm" I replied.

"I am in Mumbai for a shoot and will be returning in the morning. I wanted to show you the picture. My mom asked to clean up my stuff from the store room when I last visited home and I found your tumbler and scissors there. I don't know why I placed these in my bag and take it wherever I go. But I did." Rihan said.

I am confused. What am I supposed to tell him now. Is he lying or telling the truth? Should I believe him? What should I make out of this?

He has told so many lies in the past that never in my scariest dream I can dare to believe him. "But girl we have a situation in hand" my inner self is telling myself "and it needs to be adressed".

All I was thinking is that dear Rihan, I am over us. I don't trust you. If there is a slight possibility that you have feelings for me and if that's what you are suggesting with this, get over it please. I don't trust you and I can't trust you ever. But I thought of you as a good friend of mine sometime and for the sake of that, I always want good for you.

"Are you there?" I heard him calling over the phone.

"Yeah, but I don't know what to say. What are these things doing with you now?" I replied.

"Even, I don't know Adira. I just take them with me wherever I go and I don't know why." he explained.

"First of all he should not be having any of this after what happened between us. Even I there is point one percent sincerity in what this guy is telling, I am a big issue for him. He stopped existing for me years ago and if I still exist for him or if he has any feelings for me (which I doubt knowing all the games he played back in college) he is in trouble. He really needs to move on. And the only way to do so is to get rid of this stuff." I was talking to myself.

"Rihan" I spoke on call "I think you should get rid of these things."

I am not going to suggest him to throw this in a dustbin as I don't trust this guy. What if he takes it out later.

I suggested him to throw it out of the window of the hotel he is in. He is on 31st floor.

"But Adira" he is saying on call.

"Rihan, it's for the best. And you have lied a lot in the past but this time when you say you have thrown these things, I will believe you. I will believe that you are saying the truth."

His voice is heavy when he confirmed, the things are now gone.

With a take care, we disconnected the call.

There were tears in my eyes. Why? I don't know.

It has been thirty minutes since our twenty three minute call ended. I am still thinking about Rihan, what he said, the things and what just happened.

Was he telling the truth. Does he really feel for me? "No" an inner voice is constantly interrupting my thoughts and telling me that I can't trust this guy when I am very well aware of what all happened in the past.

He was a friend once and I truly valued him for the time we were friends. And for the sake of that friendship it is my duty to help him get over the past. I really don't know what he is upto, what he thinks, he feels but there is one thing that I know that I shouldn't trust him.

I sat there, like that for almost 90 minutes until my nostrils were filled with a burnt smell. 

"Since when, a human can smell thoughts but I am not thinking about burn... wait.. my dinner..." I rushed towards the kitchen. Cauliflower is all black now. Was it really a Cauliflower once. Anyone would doubt seeing its current state.

I am angry beyond explanation. I am not feeling well and I can't have outside food. I just can't. There is nothing else left in the kitchen. I don't get a sleep empty stomach. I don't know what to do and I am crying again.

There isn't anything else at home that I could cook. Plus the house help hasn't shown up for three days now. And every single utensil is now part of a huge pile of dirty dishes. It's hard to see it, cleaning one from that pile is not even an option.

I cried louder this time. I am so hungry and I just burnt my only hope. 

But to my rescue, Mandy texted. Mandy is my college friend and of course a good distraction right now.. We stopped talking with one another in third year of college but we connected again post college making the terms and conditions of our friendship very clear that it is and will always be only friendship and nothing else. He doesn't believe in love and relationships. Neither do I and we have something in common. That's how we reconnected.

His text timing is always awesome. Whenever I am in a bad mood, he texts. That's partly because he texts a lot. LOL. Anyway, I am in a very bad mood right now and he is going to listen to it all. Of course I will skip Rihan's part but he got to listen to what happened to my veggie, my only dinner hope and my hunger.

Rihan is bad news I told myself and chatted with Mandy for a while, until the door bell rang.

It's sister. I told her what happened to my dinner and how hungry I am and it's already 10:30 and I am not feeling good.

Such a savior she is. She quickly cooked a delicious pancake for me.

God! I couldn't be any happy as I am feeling now.

And Rihan I hate you.

I lied down that night but couldn't sleep. My thoughts were full of college and what happened back then. It felt like my heart was telling me my own story ...