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Chapter 37
°Harriet(tw)
I take a quick and deep breath, my eyes are wide open and I feel the sweat running off my forehead.
My heart hammers wildly in my ribcage.
Too dark
Too dark
Too dark
I jump out of my bed and put all the fairy lights around it on, until my room is completely lit.
I used to sleep in total darkness, recently I left my blinds open and I was content with the light that the lanterns from the street brought into my room at night. But not anymore, I need more light.
My breathing begins to become shorter and faster.
It's chocking me
It's chocking me
It's chocking me
I run into my parents' bedroom.
"I can't breathe." I say and my mom startles awake.
"What's wrong Harriet."
"I can't breathe." She gets up and grabs a Cardigan.
"Get a blanket and we'll go outside for a bit."
As soon as we're outside, the cold December air greets me.
"Inhale deeply and exhale slowly. You don't need to be scared." She says and rubs my shoulder.
I don't like it
I don't like it
I don't like it
But the thick blanket is a barrier that dulls the actual physical touch.
°^°
I didn't manage to fall asleep again after the panic attack. I was too afraid it will happen again.
My mom currently drives me to school and I check the mirror again, to see if the visibility of my under eyes has magically gone away.
Great, still visible
"If someone bothers you at school, you can tell me." She asked many questions this night. Why I suddenly have panic attacks and after a while she concluded that someone might bullies me in school.
I won't make the mistake again and tell someone.
They won't care
They won't believe
They don't want to know
Fuck you, Bella.
I keep looking at myself in the mirror.
"Everything's alright." I say and drive my fingers through my hair for the third time without having a plan why.
"You sure, honey?"
"Yes." I say and jump out of the car as soon as she stops it next to the sidewalk.
I walk to the parking lot and sit on a bench to wait for Fynn. We see each other every day, all day. Before school begins, I wait for him and he brings me to my first class. In the breaks we sit under the grandstands while chatting and after the last lesson we do something with Theo.
We've been to the zoo, every park our city provides and a mini golf course.
"Hey, big firecracker." Fynn startles me out of my thoughts but I still manage to wrinkle my eyebrows because of the nickname.
YOU ARE READING
Forest Darling
Romance"Wasn't it enough when you made a fool out of yourself two years ago? Open your fucking eyes and just be for once aware of your surroundings." He gets up with this sentence and leaves the table. I stare at the chair he was sitting on. Oh Lord how...
