🌸 🌸 🌸
Chapter 46
°Harriet(tw)
My leg wiggles uncontrolled and I wring my hands together in a static rhythm.
Noah landed at 2 am and will come over any minute now.
Mom, Dad, Ella and Theo are at our grandparents, so we can have the house for ourselves.
I sit between Fynn's legs while he strokes my back, in a desperate attempt to calm my nerves.
"Shssh calm down, dove. No need to get anxious. I will be here the whole time." He says and massage the spot behind my ears.
I'm scared he will touch me
I would never say this out loud, but I am. I'm not scared about Noah in general but that he maybe hugs me or comes too close.
The therapy with Dr. Kanani is incredibly helpful. My panic attacks are less now and the techniques she showed are actually working.
Fynn helped me throughout the journey and gives me the strength to stand up every day.
But everything about physical contact is just too much. Dr. Kanani said it's a good sign that my psyche associates Fynn with something positive, so that I'm able to let him touch me.
It's not that I don't want to try and give another person the chance, it's 'the anxiety of the anxiety' how Dr. Kanani worded it. I fear the fear and this only heighten the chance of bad outcome.
The doorbell rings and I take a deep breath out of fright. I get up on my wobbly knees, shuffle to the door and open it quickly.
"Take off your shoes and come to the living room." I say in a rush and sprint back to Fynn without another glance.
You're a fucking asshole, Harriet
God, I know
"What got you in such a rush?" Noah says and I hear how the door closes.
He enters the living room after a few seconds. He immediately stops in his tracks and narrows his eyes.
He is tanned like a surfer boy, his body appearance changed into one of a gym dude and his clothes aren't weather appropriate.
"He broke into your god damn house? Did you call the police?" Noah oh so kindly assumes and it makes me feel even worse.
"Welcome to you too, Noah. I hope you had a good flight." This madness gets more awkward by the second.
"Fynn didn't break into my house. Come in and take a seat." Noah gives me a 'what kind of drug did you abuse to let this man into your house' look but walks to the sofa nevertheless.
"Come here, princess and give me a big hug. I missed you soo much." He recovers quickly and opens his arms.
"No!" I scream and immediately wince because I sound like an absolute maniac and act like he isn't my best friend but a random stranger.
So much for 'calm down, you don't need to be anxious'
Yeah, my ass
"What is going on. Did the world turned upside down during the time I left? You scare me, Harriet."
Tears spring into my eyes and I just hate myself more.
"I'm sorry." I croak out and wipe the tears that are running down my cheeks.
Fynn puts an arm around me and pulls me into him.
"Today is another day. This is the present. We're at your house. There is nothing negative here." He says out loud while I mumble the words myself.
YOU ARE READING
Forest Darling
Romance"Wasn't it enough when you made a fool out of yourself two years ago? Open your fucking eyes and just be for once aware of your surroundings." He gets up with this sentence and leaves the table. I stare at the chair he was sitting on. Oh Lord how...
